Alice Adventures in Wonderland

Alice Adventures in Wonderland teaches us a very good lesson we face in the real world, Sure, crawling down a rabbit hole might be too big a risk in the real world, but Alice’s decision to follow the White Rabbit leads to a magical journey. … Though taking risks can be scary (like crawling down a rabbit hole), standing still can be scarier. Without taking risks and challenging ourselves, we don’t grow in the real world
we live in.

Alice Adventures in Wonderland

Chapter 1
Down The Rabbit Hole

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank and of having

nothing to do, once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading

but it had no pictures or conversations in it, and what is the use of a book thought

Alice without pictures or conversations, so she was considering in her own mind as

well as she could for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid, whether

the pleasure of making a daisy chain would be worth the trouble of getting up

and picking the daisies, when suddenly a white rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her

there was nothing so very remarkable in that nor did Alice think it so very much out

of the way to hear the Rabbit say to itself “oh dear, oh dear, I shall be late”, when she

thought it over afterward it occurred to her that she ought to have wondered at this

but at the time it all seemed quite natural, but when the Rabbit actually took a watch

out of its waistcoat pocket and looked at it and then hurried on, Alice started to her

feet for it flashed across her mind that she had never before seen a rabbit with either

a waistcoat-pocket or a watch to take out of it and burning with curiosity she ran

across the field after it and fortunately was just in time to see it pop down a large

rabbit-hole under the hedge.

In another moment down went Alice after it never once considering how in

the world she was to get out again, the rabbit hole went straight on like a tunnel

for some way and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not

a moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself falling down

a very deep well, either the well was very deep or she fell very slowly for had plenty

of time as she went down to look about her and to wonder what was going

to happen next.

First, she tried to look down and make out what she was coming to but it was too dark

to see anything, then she looked at the sides of the well and noticed that they were

filled with cupboards and bookshelves, here and there she saw maps and pictures

hung upon pegs, she took down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed it was

labeled orange marmalade but to her great disappointment it was empty, she did not

like to drop the jar for fear of killing somebody so managed to put it into one of the

cupboards as she fell past it,well” thought Alice to herself, “after such a fall as this

I shall think nothing of tumbling downstairs how brave they’ll all think me at home

why I wouldn’t say anything about it even if I fell off the top of the house” which was

very likely true, down down down would the fall never come to an end, “I wonder how

many miles I’ve fallen by this time” she said aloud “I must be getting somewhere near

the center of the earth, let me see that would be four thousand miles down I think”,

for you see Alice had learned several things of this sort in her lessons

in the schoolroom and though this was not a very good opportunity for showing off

her knowledge as there was no one to listen to her still it was good practice to say it

over, “yes that’s about the right distance but then I wonder what Latitude or longitude

I’ve got to”, Alice had no idea what latitude was or longitude either but thought

they were nice grand words to say presently she began again “I wonder if I shall fall

right through the earth how funny it’ll seem to come out among the people that walk

with their heads downward, the antipathies I think” she was rather glad there was

no one listening to this time as it didn’t sound at all the right word “but I shall have

to ask them what the name of the country is you know, please ma’am is this

New Zealand or Australia?”, and she tried to curtsey as she spoke fancy curtseying

as you’re falling through the air do you think you could manage it, and what

an ignorant little girl she’ll think me for asking, no it’ll never do to ask, perhaps I shall

see it written up somewhere.

Down down down there was nothing else to do so Alice soon began talking again

“Dinah’ll miss me very much tonight, I should think” Dinah was the cat “I hope they’ll

remember her saucer of milk at tea-time, Dinah my dear I wish you were down here

with me, there are no mice in the air I’m afraid but you might catch a bat and that’s

very like a mouse, you know, but do cats eat bats? I wonder?”, and here Alice began

to get rather sleepy and went on saying to herself in a dreamy sort of way “do cats

eat bats, do cats eat bats?” and sometimes “do bats eat cats?”, for you see as she

couldn’t answer either question it didn’t much matter which way she put it she felt

that she was dozing off and had just begun to dream that she was walking

hand in hand with Dinah and saying to her very earnestly “now Dinah tell me the truth,

did you ever eat a bat?” when suddenly thump thump down she came upon a heap

of sticks and dry leaves and the fall was over.

Alice was not a bit hurt and she jumped up onto her feet in a moment, she looked up

but it was all dark overhead before she was another long passage

and the White rabbit was still in sight hurrying down it, there was not a moment

to be lost away went Alice like the wind and was just in time to hear it say

as it turned a corner

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland

“oh, my ears and whiskers, how late it’s getting,” she was close behind it when

she turned the corner, but the rabbit was no longer to be seen; she found herself

in a long low Hall which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging from the roof.

There were doors all around the hall, but they were all locked, and when Alice

had been all the way down one side and up the other, trying every door; she walked

sadly down the middle, wondering how she was ever to get out again.

Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table all made of solid glass; there was

nothing on it except a tiny golden key, and Alice’s first thought was that it might

belong to one of the doors of the hall, but alas either the locks were too large

or the key was too small, but at any rate, it would not open any of them.

However, the second time around, she came upon a low curtain she had not noticed

before and behind it was a little door about 15 inches high; she tried the little golden

key in the lock, and to her great delight, it fitted.

Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small passage not much larger than

a rat Hall she knelt down and looked along the passage into the loveliest garden

you ever saw, how she longed to get out of that dark hall and wander about among

those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but she could not even get her

head through the doorway “and even if my head would go through” thought poor Alice,

“it would be a very little use without my shoulders, oh how I wish I could shut up like a

telescope, I think I could if I only knew how to begin”.

before you see so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately that Alice had

begun to think those very few things indeed were really impossible there seemed

to be no use in waiting by the little door so she went back to the table half-hoping

she might find another key on it or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up

like telescopes, this time she found a little bottle on it “which certainly was not

here before” said Alice, and round the neck of the bottle was a paper label with

the words ‘drink me‘ beautifully printed on it in large letters, “it was all very well

to say drink me!” but the wise little Alice was not to do that in a hurry “no I’ll look first,”

she said, and see whether it’s marked poison or not for she had read several nice

little histories about children who had got burnt and eaten up by wild beasts,

and other unpleasant things all because they would not remember the simple rules

their friends had taught them, such as that a red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it

too long and that if you cut your finger very deeply with a knife it usually bleeds,

and she had never forgotten that if you drink much from a bottle marked poison

it is almost certain to disagree with you sooner or later.

However, this bottle was not marked poison, so Alice ventured to taste it and find

it was very nice; it had, in fact a sort of mixed flavor of cherry tart, custard, pine apple,

roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast; she very soon finished it off

“What a curious feeling?!” said Alice. “I must be shutting up like a telescope,” and so

it was indeed she was now only 10 inches high and her face brightened up

at the thought that she was now the right size for going through the little door,

into that lovely garden first, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was

going to shrink any further, she felt a little nervous about this, “for it might end you

know” said Alice to herself “in my going out altogether like a candle, I wonder what

I should be like then?” and she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is like after

the candle is blown out for she could not remember ever having seen such a thing.

After a while finding that nothing more happened she decided on going into

the garden at once but alas for poor Alice when she got to the door she found

she had forgotten the little golden key and when she went back to the table for it

she found she could not possibly reach it, she could see it quite plainly through

the glass and she tried her best to climb up one of the legs of the table but it was

too slippery, and when she had tired herself out with the poor little thing sat down

and criedcome there’s no use in crying like that,” said Alice to herself rather sharply “

I advise you to leave off this minute” she generally gave herself very good advice

though she very seldom followed it, and sometimes she scolded herself so severely

as to bring tears into her eyes and once she remembered trying to box her own ears

for having cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself,

for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people “but it’s no use

now” thought poor Alice, “to pretend to be two people why there’s hardly enough

of me left to make one respectable person”.

Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table she opened it

and found in it a very small cake on which the words ‘eat me‘ were beautifully

marked in currants.

“Well I’ll eat it,” said Alice, “and if it makes me grow larger I can reach the key, and if it

makes me grow smaller I can creep under the door, so either way, I’ll get into

the garden and I don’t care which happens” she ate a little bit and said anxiously

to herself “which way, which way?” holding her hand on the top of her head to feel

which way it was growing and she was quite surprised to find that she remained

the same size, to be sure this generally happens when one eats cake, but Alice had

got so much into the way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen

that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in a common way, so she set to

work and very soon finished off the cake.

Chapter 2

The Pool of Tears

curiouser and curiouser cried Alice she was so much surprised that for the moment

she quite forgot how to speak good English now I’m opening out like the largest

telescope that ever was goodbye feet for when she looked down at her feet they

seemed to be almost out of sight they were getting so far off “oh my poor little feet,

I wonder who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now dears, I’m sure

I shan’t be able I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself about you you must

manage the best way you can, but I must be kind to them” thought Alice, “or perhaps

they won’t walk the way I want to go, let me see I’ll give them a new pair of boots

every Christmas” and she went on planning to herself how she would manage it

“They must go by the carrier she thought and how funny it’ll seem sending presents

to one’s own feet, and how odd the directions will look”, Alice’s right foot Esquire

hearthrug near the fender with Alice’s love “oh dear What nonsense I’m talking,

just then her head struck against the roof of the hall in fact she was now more

than nine feet high and she at once took up the little golden key and hurried off to

the garden door, poor Alice it was as much as she could do lying down on one side

to look through into the garden with one eye but to get through was more hopeless

than ever, she sat down and began to cry again.

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself,” said Alice, “a great girl like you” she might well

say this, “to go on crying in this way, stop this moment I tell you”, but she went on all

the same shedding gallons of Tears until there was a large pool all around her about

four inches deep and reaching half down the hall.

After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the distance and she hastily dried

her eyes to see what was coming, it was the White Rabbit returning splendidly

dressed with a pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the other,

he came trotting along in a great hurry muttering to himself as he came

“oh the Duchess, the Duchess, oh won’t she be savage if I’ve kept her waiting”

Alice felt so desperate that she was ready to ask the help of anyone, so when

the rabbit came near her, she began in a low timid voice “if you please sir?”

the rabbit started violently, dropped the white kid gloves and the fan,

and scurried away into the darkness as hard as he could go, Alice took up the fan

and gloves and as the hall was very hot she kept fanning herself all the time she went

on talkingdear…dear how queer everything is today and yesterday things went on just

as usual, I wonder if I’ve been changed in the night, let me think was I the same when

I got up this morning I almost think I can remember feeling a little different,

but if I’m not the same the next question is who in the world am I, that’s the great

puzzle” and she began thinking over all the children she knew that were of the same

age as herself to see if she could have been changed for any of them, “I’m sure

I’m not  Aida” she said “for her hair goes in such long ringlets and mine doesn’t go

in ringlets at all, and I’m sure I can’t be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she,

oh, she knows such a very little, besides she’s she and I’m I, and oh dear how puzzling

it all is!! I’ll try if I know all the things I used to know, let me see four times five

is twelve and four times six is thirteen and four times seven is…oh dear I shall never

get to twenty at that  rate, however, the multiplication table doesn’t signify, let’s try

geography London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome and Rome

no that’s all wrong I’m certain, I must have been changed for Mabel, I’ll try and say

how doth the little”, and she crossed her hands on her lap  as if she were saying

lessons and began to repeat it but her voice sounded hoarse and strange

and the words did not come the same as they used to do,

“How doth the little crocodile improve his shining tail And pour the waters of the Nile

On every golden scale, How cheerfully he seems to grin, How neatly spread his claws

and welcome little fishes in With gently smiling jaws, I’m sure those are not the right

words” said poor Alice and her eyes filled with tears, again as she went on “I must be

Mabel after all and I shall have to go and live in that poky little house and have next

to no toys to play with, and Oh ever so many lessons to learn, no I’ve made up my

mind about it, if I’m Mabel I’ll stay down here, it’ll be no use their putting their heads

down and saying come up again, dear, I shall only look up and say Who am I then? tell

me that first and then if I like being that person I’ll come up, if not  I’ll stay down here

till I’m somebody else, but oh dear” cried Alice with a sudden burst of tears,

“I do wish they would put their heads down, I am so very tired of being all alone here”,

as she said this she looked down at her hands and was surprised to see that

she had put on one of the rabbits little white kid gloves while she was talking,

“How can I have done that?” she thought, “I must be growing small again”, she got up

and went to the table to measure herself by it and found that as nearly as she could

guess, she was now about two feet high and was going on shrinking rapidly,

she soon found out that the cause of this was the fan she was holding,

and she dropped it hastily just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether,that was

a narrow escape” said Alice a good deal frightened at the sudden change but very

glad to find herself still in existence, and now for the garden and she ran with all

speed back to the little door, but alas the little door was shut again and The Little

Golden Key was lying on the glass table as before, and things are worse than ever,

thought the poor child “for I never was so small as this before, never and I declare

it’s too bad that it is” as she said these words her foot slipped and in another moment

splash, she was up to her chin in salt water, her first idea was that she had somehow

fallen into the sea,and in that case, I can go back by railway” she said to herself.

Alice had been to the seaside once in her life and had come to the general conclusion

that wherever you go to on the English coast you find a number of bathing machines

in the sea, some children digging in the sand with wooden spades then a row

of lodging houses and behind them a railway station.

However, she soon made out that she was in the pool of tears which she had wept

when she was 9 feet high, “I wish I hadn’t cried so much,” said Alice as she swam

about trying to find her way out, “I shall be punished for it now I suppose by being

drowned in my own tears, that will be a queer thing to be sure, however everything

is queer today”, just then she heard something splashing about in the pool, a little

way off and she swam nearer to make out what it was, at first she thought it must be

a walrus or hippopotamus but then she remembered how small she was now,

and she soon made out that it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself,

“would it be of any use now,” thought Alice “to speak to this mouse,

everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I should think it very likely” it can talk

at any rate, there’s no harm in trying so she began “Oh Mouse do you know the way

out of this pool, I am very tired of swimming about here” Oh Alice thought this must

be the right way of speaking to a mouse, she had never done such a thing before,

but she remembered having seen in her brother’s Latin grammar “a mouse

of a mouse – a mouse, a mouse”, “Oh Mouse” the mouse looked at her rather

inquisitively and seemed to her to wink with one of its little eyes but it said nothing,

perhaps it doesn’t understand English thought Alice I dare say it’s a French Mouse

come over with William the Conqueror for with all her knowledge of history Alice

had no very clear notion how long ago anything had happened so she began again

“Oh Emma shut” which was the first sentence in her French lesson book, the mouse

gave a sudden leap out of the water and seemed to quiver all over with fright,

“Oh I beg your pardon” cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor animal‘s

feelings “I quite forgot you didn’t like cats”, “not like cats” cried the Mouse in a shrill

passionate voice, “would you like cats if you were me?”, “well perhaps not,” said Alice

in a soothing tone, “don’t be angry about it, and yet I wish I could show you our cat

Dinah, I think you’d take a fancy to cats if you could only see her, she is such a dear

quiet thing” Alice went on after herself “as she swam lazily about in the pool,

and she sits purring so nicely by the fire licking her paws and washing her face,

and she is such a nice soft thing to nurse and she’s such a Capital One for catching,

mice oh I beg your pardon” cried Alice again for this time the Mouse was bristling

all over and she felt certain it must be really offended.

“We won’t talk about her anymore if you’d rather not”, “we indeed” cried the mouse

who was trembling down to the end of his tail “as if I would talk on such a subject,

our family always hated cats, nasty low vulgar things, don’t let me hear the name

again”, “I won’t indeed,” said Alice in a great hurry to change the subject objectively

conversation “are you, are you fond of…of dogs?” the mouse did not answer,

so Alice went on eagerly “there is such a nice little dog near our house, I should like

to show you, a little bright-eyed Terrier, you know with Oh such long curly brown hair,

and it’ll fetch things when you throw them, and it’ll sit up and beg for its dinner

and all sorts of things I can’t remember half of them, and it belongs to a farmer you

know and he says it’s so useful it’s worth a hundred pounds, he says, it kills

all the rats and, oh dear” cried Alice in a sorrowful toneI’m afraid I’ve offended it

again”, for the Mouse was swimming away from her as hard as it could go

and making quite a commotion in the pool as it went, so she called softly after it,

“Mouse dear do come back again and we won’t talk about cats or dogs either if you

don’t like them” when the mouse heard this it turned around and swam slowly back

to her, its face was quite pale with passion Alice thought and it said in a low trembling

voice “let us get to the shore and then I’ll tell you my history, and you’ll understand

why it is I hate cats and dogs”, it was high time to go for the pool was getting quite

crowded with the birds and animals that had fallen into it there was a duck,

and a dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious creatures Alice led

the way and the whole party swam to the shore.

chapter three

A caucus-race and a long tale

They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the bank the words with

draggled feathers the animals with their fur clinging close to them and all dripping

wet cross and uncomfortable the first question of course was how to get dry again

they had a consultation about this and after a few minutes it seemed quite natural

to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with them as if she had known them all her

life indeed she had quite a long argument with the Lory who at last turned sulky

and would only say I am older than you and must know better and this Alice would

not allow without knowing how old it was and as the Lory positively refused to tell

its age there was no more to be said at last the mouse who seemed to be a person

of authority among them called out sit down all of you and listen to me, I’ll soon make

you dry enough they all sat down at once in a large ring with the mouse in the middle

Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it for she felt sure she would catch a bad cold

if she did not get dry very soon he said the mouse with an important air are you all

ready this is the driest thing I know silence all round if you please William

the Conqueror whose cause was favored by the Pope was soon submitted to by

the English who wanted leaders and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation

and conquest Edwin and Morcar the Earl’s of Mercia and Northumbria”, “ugh” said

the Lory with a shiver, “I beg your pardon” said the mouse frowning but very politely

“did you speak?”, “not I,” said the Lory hastily, “I thought you did,” said the mouse,

“I proceed Edwin and Morcar the Earl’s of Mercia and Northumbria declared for him

and even stand the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable”,

Found what?” said the duck, “found it” the Mouse replied rather crossly “of course

you know what it means”, “I know what it means well enough when I find a thing,” said

the duck “it’s generally a frog or a worm, the question is what did the archbishop find?”

the mouse did not notice this question but hurriedly went onfound it advisable to go

with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the crown, Williams conduct

at first, was moderate, but the insolence of his Norman’s, how are you getting on now

my dear” it continued turning to Alice as it spoke, “as wet as ever” said Alice

in a melancholy tone “it doesn’t seem to dry me at all”,in that case” said the dodo

solemnly rising to its feet “I move that the meeting adjourn for the immediate

adoption of more energetic remedies”,speak English” said the eaglet “I don’t know

the meaning of half those long words and what’s more, I don’t believe you do either”

and the eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile, some of the other birds tittered

audibly “what I was going to say,” said the Dodo in an offended tone “was that

the best thing to get us dry would be a caucus-race”, “what is a caucus-race?”

said Alice not that she wanted much to know but the dodo had paused as if it thought

that somebody ought to speak and no one else seemed inclined to say anything,

“why!!” said the dodo ” the best way to explain it is to do it, and as you might like

to try the thing yourself some winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it,

first, it marked out a racecourse in a sort of circle, the exact shape doesn’t matter,

it said, and then all the parties were placed along the course here and there,

there was no one to three and away but they began running when they liked

and left off when they liked so that it was not easy to know when the race was over,

however, when they had been running half an hour or so and were quite dry again

the Dodo suddenly called out “The race is over” and they all crowded around it panting

and asking “but who has won?” this question the dodo could not answer without

a great deal of thought and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed upon its

forehead the position in which you usually see Shakespeare in the pictures of him

while the rest waited in silence, at last, the dodo said “everybody has won and all must

have prizes”, “but who is to give the prizes,” quite a chorus of voices asked,

“why! she of course,” said the dodo pointing to Alice with one finger, and the whole

party at once crowded round her calling out in a confused way “prizes, prizes”.

Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair, she put her hand in her pocket and pulled

out a box of comfits luckily the saltwater had not caught into it and handed them

round as prizes, there was exactly one a piece all-round,but she must have a prize

herself you know” said the mouse, “of course” the Dodo replied very gravely

“What else have you got in your pocket” he went on turning to Alice, “only a thimble,”

said Alice sadly,handed over here,” said the dodo, then they all crowded around her

once more while the Dodo solemnly presented the thimble saying “we beg your

acceptance of this elegant thimble” and when it had finished the short speech

they all cheered.

Alice thought the whole thing very absurd but they all looked so grave that she did

not dare to laugh and as she could not think of anything to say she simply bowed

and took the thimble looking as solemn as she could, the next thing was to eat

the comforts, this caused some noise and confusion as the large birds complained

that they could not taste theirs and the small ones choked and had to be patted

on the back, however, it was over at last and they sat down again in a ring and begged

the Mouse to tell them something more, “you promised to tell me your history,

you know” said Alice “and how it is you hate C and D” she added in a whisper half

afraid that it would be offended again, “mine is a long and a sad Tail” said the mouse

turning to Alice and sighing, “it is a long tale certainly” said Alice looking down with

Wonder at the mouse’s tail “but why do you call it sad?” and she kept on puzzling

about it while the mouse was speaking so that her idea of the tale was something like

this, and here the mouse’s words are printed in a long snaky line down the page like

a mouse’s tail, “Fury said to a mouse that he met in the house, let us both go to law I

will prosecute you”, come I’ll take no denial we must have a trial for really this morning

I’ve nothing to do” said the mouse to the cur “such a trial dear sir with no jury

or judge would be wasting our breath”, “I’ll be judge, I’ll be jury” said cunning old Fury

“I’ll try the whole cause and condemn you to death”, “you are not attending,”

said the Mouse to Alice severely “what are you thinking of?”,I beg your pardon,”

said Alice very humblyyou had got to the fifth Bend I think”, “I had not” cried the

mouse sharply and very angrily “a knot,” said Alice always ready to make herself

useful and looking anxiously about her “oh do let me help to undo it”, “I shall do

nothing of the sort,” said the mouse getting up and walking away “you insult me

by talking such nonsense”, “I didn’t mean it” pleaded poor Alice “but you’re so

easily offended, you know” the Mouse only growled in replyplease come back

and finish your story” Alice called after it and the others all joined in chorus,

“yes please do”, but the Mouse only shook its head impatiently and walked a little

quicker,what a pity, it wouldn’t stay” sighed Lory.

as soon as it was quite out of sight and an old crab took the opportunity of saying

to her daughter “ah my dear, let this be a lesson to you never to lose your temper”,

hold your tongue ma,” said the young crab a little snappishly “you’re enough to try

the patience of an oyster”,I wish I had our Dinah here I know, I do” said Alice aloud

addressing nobody in particular, she’d soon fetch it back, “And who is Dinah if I might

venture to ask the question?” said the Lory, Alice replied eagerly for she was always

ready to talk about her pet “Dinah’s our cat and she’s such a Capital One for catching

mice you can’t think, and oh I wish you could see her after the birds, why she’ll eat

a little bird as soon as look at it”, this speech caused a remarkable sensation among

the party, some of the birds hurried off at once, one old Magpie began wrapping itself

up very carefully remarking “I really must be getting home, the night-air doesn’t suit my

throat” and a Canary called out in a trembling voice to its children “come away my

dears it’s high time you were all in bed” on various pretexts they all moved off

and Alice has soon left alone “I wish I hadn’t mentioned Dinah,” she said to herself

in a melancholy tone “nobody seems to like her down here and I’m sure she’s

the best cat in the world, oh my dear Dinah I wonder if I shall ever see you anymore”

and here poor Alice began to cry again for she felt very lonely and low-spirited,

in a little while, however, she again heard a little pattering of footsteps in the distance

and she looked up eagerly half hoping that the Mouse had changed his mind and was

coming back to finish his story. 

Chapter four

The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill

it was the White Rabbit trotting slowly back again and looking anxiously about as

it went as if it had lost something and she heard it muttering to itself “the Duchess,

the Duchess, oh my dear pause, oh my fur and whiskers, she’ll get me executed

as sure as ferrets are ferrets, where can I have dropped them I wonder”,

Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking for the fan and the pair of white kid

gloves and she very good-naturedly began hunting about for them but there were

nowhere to be seen, everything seemed to have changed since her swim in the pool,

and the great hall with the glass table and the little door had vanished completely.

Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice as she went hunting about and called out to her in

an angry tone “why Mary Ann, what are you doing out here, run home this moment

and fetch me a pair of gloves and a fan, quick now” and Alice was so much frightened

that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed to without trying to explain

the mistake it had made, “he took me for his housemaid” she said to herself as

she ran “how surprised he’ll be when he finds out who I am, but I’d better take him his

fan and gloves, that is if I can find them” as she said this she came upon a neat little

house on the door of which was a bright brass plate with the name ‘W rabbit’

engraved upon it, she went in without knocking and hurried upstairs in great fear lest

she should meet the real Mary Ann and be turned out of the house before she had

found the fan and gloves,how queer it seems” Alice said to herself to be going

messages for a rabbit, I suppose Dinah will be sending me on messages next”,

and she began fancying the sort of thing that would happen, “miss Alice come here

directly and get ready for your walk”, “coming in a minute nurse but I’ve got to see

that the mouse doesn’t get out, only I don‘t think” Alice went on that they’d let Dinah

stop in the house if it began ordering people about like that.

By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room with a table in the window

and on it, as she had hoped a fan and two or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves,

she took up the fan and a pair of gloves and was just going to leave the room

when her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the looking-glass, there was no

label this time with the words drink me but nevertheless, she uncorked it and put it

to her lips, “I know something interesting is sure to happen” she said to herself

“Whenever I eat or drink anything, so I’ll just see what this bottle does, I do hope it’ll

make me grow large again, for really I’m quite tired of being such a tiny little thing”.

It did so indeed and much sooner than she had expected before she had drunk half

the bottle she found her head pressing against the ceiling and had to stoop to save

her neck from being broken, she hastily put down the bottle saying to herself

“that’s quite enough, I hope I shan’t grow anymore as it is I can’t get out at the door,

I do wish I hadn’t drunk quite so much”, alas it was too late to wish that” she went on

growing and growing and very soon had to kneel down on the floor, in another minute

there was not even room for this and she tried the effect of lying down with one elbow

against the door and the other arm curled round her head, still, she went on growing,

and as a last resource, she put one arm out of the window and one foot up

the chimney and said to herself “now I can do no more whatever happens, what will

become of me” luckily for Alice the little magic bottle had now had its full effect

and she grew in a larger, still, it was very uncomfortable and as there seemed to be no

sort of chance of her ever getting out of the room again, no wonder she felt unhappy.

It was much pleasanter at home thought poor Alice when one wasn’t always growing

larger and smaller and being ordered about by mice and rabbits, “I almost wish

I hadn’t gone down that rabbit hole and yet, and yet it’s rather curious you know

this sort of life I do wonder what can have happened to me when I used to read fairy

tales I fancied that kind of thing never happened and now here I am in the middle

of one, there ought to be a book written about me that there ought and when I grow

up I’ll write one but I’m grown up now” she added in a sorrowful tone “at least there’s

no room to grow up anymore here”, but then thought Alice “shall I never get

any older than I am now? that’ll be comfortable in one way never to be an old woman,

but then always to have lessons, to learn, oh I shouldn’t like that, oh you foolish Alice”

she answered herself “how can you learn lessons in here, why there’s hardly room

for you and no room at all for any lessons, books” and so she went on taking

the first one side and then the other and making quite a conversation of it altogether

but after a few minutes, she heard a voice outside and stopped to listen,

“Marianne Marianne,” said the voice “fetch me my gloves this moment” then came

a little pattering of feet on the stairs, Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look

for her and she trembled till she shook the house quite forgetting that she was now

about a thousand times as large as the rabbit and had no reason to be afraid of it,

presently the rabbit came up to the door and tried to open it, but as the door opened

inwards and Alice’s elbow was pressed hard against it that attempt proved a failure,

Alice heard it say to itself  “then I’ll go around and get in at the window,

that you won’t think” Alice”, and after  waiting till she fancied she heard the Rabbit

just under the window, she suddenly spread out her hand and made a snatch in the air,

she did not get hold of anything but she heard a little shriek and a fall and a crash of

broken glass from which she concluded that it was just possible it had fallen into a

cucumber frame or something of the sort.

Next came an angry voice the rabbits “pat-pat where are you?” and then a voice she

had never heard before “sure then I’m here digging for apples your honor”, “digging

for apples indeed” said the rabbit angrily “here come and help me out of this”,

sounds of more broken glassnow tell me, Pat, what’s that in the window”, “Sure it’s

an arm your honor” he pronounced it, “Arum, an arm you goose, whoever saw one

that size, why it fills the whole window?”, “Sure it does your honor, but it’s an arm for

all that”, “well it’s got no business there at any rate go and take it away” there was a

long silence after this and Alice could only hear whispers now and then such as

“Sure I don’t like it your honor at all at all”,do as I tell you you coward” and at last,

she spread out her hand again and made another snatch in the air, this time there

were two little shrieks and more sounds of broken glass, “what a number of cucumbers

frames there must be” thought Alice “I wonder what they’ll do next as for pulling me

out of the window, I only wish they could, I’m sure I don’t want to stay in here any


she waited for some time without hearing anything more, at last, came a rumbling

of little cartwheels and the sound of a good many voices all talking together,

she made out the words “where’s the other ladder?” “why I hadn’t to bring but one Bill’s

got the other, bill fetches it here, lad here put him up at this corner, no Oh tie them

together first they don’t reach half high enough yet, oh they’ll do well enough don’t be

particular, here bill catch hold of this rope, will the roof bear? mine too that loose slate,

oh, it’s coming down heads below” a loud crash “now who did that?” “it was Bill I fancy,

whose to go down the chimney?” “nay I shan’t you do it”, “that I won’t ten bills to go

down”,here bill the master says you’re to go down the chimney”,Oh so Bill’s got to

come down the chimney, has he?” said Alice to herself shyand they seem to put

everything upon the bill, I wouldn’t be in Bill’s place for a good deal, this fireplace is

narrow to be sure but I think I can kick a little” she drew her foot as far down

the chimney as she could and waited till she heard a little animal, she couldn’t guess

of what sort it was scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close above her,

then said to herself “this is Bill” she gave one sharp kick and waited to see what

would happen next.

The first thing she heard was a general chorus of “there goes bill” then the rabbits

voice along “catch him you by the hedge” then silence and then another confusion

of voices “hold up his head brandy now, don’t choke him, how was it, old fellow,

what happened to you, tell us all about it” last came a little feeble squeaking voice,

that’s bill thought Alice “well I hardly know, no more thank you, I’m better now but I’m

a deal too flustered to tell you all I know is something comes at me like

a jack-in-the-box and up I goes like a skyrocket” “so you did old fellow” said the others

“We must burn the house down,” said the rabbit’s voice, and Alice called out as loud as

she couldif you do I’ll set Dinah at you”

there was a dead silence instantly and Alice thought to herself “I wonder what

they will do next, if they had any sense they’d take the roof off” after a minute or two

they began moving about again and Alice heard the rabbit say “a barrowful will do

to begin with”, “a barrowful of what?” thought Alice, but she had not long to doubt

for the next moment, a shower of little pebbles came rattling in at the window

and some of them hit her in the face,I’ll put a stop to this” she said to herself

and shouted out “you’d better not do that again” which produced another dead silence,

Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all turning into little cakes

as they lay on the floor and a bright idea came into her head if I eat one of these cakes

she thought it’s sure to make some change in my size, and as it can’t possibly make

me larger it must make me smaller I suppose” so she swallowed one of the cakes

and was delighted to find that she began shrinking directly as soon as she was small

enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house and found quite a crowd of

little animals and birds waiting outside the poor little lizard, bill was in the middle

being held up by two guinea pigs who were giving it something out of a bottle,

they all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared, but she ran off as hard as she

could and soon found herself safe in a thick wood.

“The first thing I’ve got to do,” said Alice to herself as she wandered about in the wood

“is to grow to my right size again, and the second thing is to find my way into

that lovely garden, I think that will be the best plan” it sounded like an excellent plan

no doubt and very neatly and simply arranged the only difficulty was that she had not

the smallest idea how to set about it, and while she was peering about anxiously

among the trees, a little sharp bark just over her head made her look up in a great

hurry, an enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round eyes and feebly

stretching out one paw trying to touch her, “poor little thing,” said Alice in a coaxing

tone and she tried hard to whistle to it but she was terribly frightened all the time

at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case it would be very likely to eat her

up in spite of all her coaxing.

Hardly knowing what she did she picked up a little bit of stick and held it out

to the puppy, whereupon the puppy jumped into the air off all its feet at once with

a Yelp of delight and rushed at the stick, and made belief to worry it, then Alice

dodged behind a great thistle to keep herself from being run over and at the moment

she appeared on the other side the puppy made another rush to the stick and tumbled

head over heels in its hurry to get hold of it, then Alice thinking it was very like having

a game of play with a carthorse and expecting every moment to be trampled under its

feet ran around the Thistle again, then the puppy began a series of short charges

at the stick running a very little way forwards each time and a long way back

and barking hoarsely all the while till at last, it sat down a good way off panting with

its tongue hanging out of its mouth and its great eyes half shut.

This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape so she set off at once

and ran till she was quite tired and out of breath and till the puppy’s bark sounded

quite faint in the distance, “and yet what a dear little puppy it was” said Alice

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland1

as she leaned against a buttercup to rest herself and fanned herself with one of the

leaves “I should have liked teaching it tricks very much if… if I had only been the right

size to do it, oh dear, I’d nearly forgotten that I’ve got to grow up again, let me see

how is it to be managed I suppose I ought to eat or drink something or other but

the great question is what?” the great question certainly was what, Alice looked all

round her at the flowers and the blades of grass but she did not see anything that

looked like the right thing to eat or drink under the circumstances, there was a large

mushroom growing near her about the same height as herself and when she had

looked under it and on both sides of it and behind it, it occurred to her that she might

as well as look and see what was on the top of it, she stretched herself up on tiptoe and

peeped over the edge of the mushroom and her eyes immediately met those of a large

caterpillar that was sitting on the top, with its arms folded quietly smoking along

hookah and taking not the smallest notice of her or of anything else.

Chapter five

Advice from a Caterpillar

the caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time in silence, at last

the caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and addressed her in a languid sleepy

voice “who are you?” said the caterpillar, this was not an encouraging opening

for a conversation, Alice replied rather shyly “I…I hardly know sir, just at present at

At least, I know who I was when I got up this morning but I think I must have

been changed several times since then”, “what do you mean by that?”

said the caterpillar “sternly explain yourself”, “I can’t explain myself I’m afraid sir”

said Alice “because I’m not myself you see”, “I don’t see,” said the caterpillar “I’m afraid

I can’t put it more clearly” Alice replied very politely “for I can’t understand it myself,

to begin with and being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing”, “it isn’t”

said the caterpillar “well perhaps you haven’t found it so yet” said Alice ” but when

you have to turn into a chrysalis you will someday you know, and then after that into

a butterfly, I should think you’ll feel it a little queer won’t you?”, “not a bit”

said the caterpillar, “well perhaps your feelings may be different” said Alice ” all I know

is it would feel very queer to me?”, ” you!” said the Caterpillar contemptuously

“Who are you?” which brought them back again to the beginning of the conversation.

Alice felt a little irritated at the caterpillars making such very short remarks

and she drew herself up and said very gravely “I think you ought to tell me

who you are first?”, “why?” said the caterpillar here was another puzzling question

and as Alice could not think of any good reason and as the caterpillar seemed to be

in a very unpleasant state of mind she turned away, “come back” the caterpillar called

after her “I have something important to say”, this sounded promising certainly Alice

turned and came back “keep your temper,” said the caterpillar, “Is that all,”

said Alice swallowing down her anger as well as she could “no,” said the caterpillar

Alice thought she might as well wait as she had nothing else to do and perhaps,

after all, it might tell her something worth hearing.

for some minutes it puffed away without speaking but at last, it unfolded its arms

took the hookah out of its mouth again and said “so you think you’ve changed,

do you”, “I’m afraid I am sir,” said Alice “I can’t remember things as I used and I don’t

keep the same size for ten minutes together”, “can’t remember what things?”

said the caterpillar, “well I’ve tried to say how doth the little busy bee but it all came

different” Alice replied in a very melancholy voice “repeat, you are old father William,”

said the caterpillar Alice folded her hands and began

“you are old father William,” the young man said, “and your hair has become very

white and yet you incessantly stand on your head do you think at your age it is right”

“in my youth,” father William replied to his son “I feared it might injure the brain

but now that I’m perfectly sure I have none, why I do it again and again”, “you are old”

said the youth “as I mentioned before and have grown most uncommonly fat, yet you

turn to back somersaults in at the door Pray what is the reason of that”, “in my youth”

said the sage as he shook his grey locks “I kept all my limbs very supple By the use

of this joint Minh one shilling the box allow me to sell you a couple”, “you are old”

said the youth “and your jaws are too weak for anything tougher than suet, yet you

finished the goose with the bones and the beak Pray how did you manage to do it?”,

“in my youth,” said his father “I took to the law and argued each case with my wife

and the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw Has lasted the rest of my life”,

“you are old,” said the youth “one would hardly suppose That your eye was as steady

as ever, yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose, what made you so awfully

clever?”, “I have answered three questions and that is enough,” said his father

“don’t give yourself airs, do you think I can listen all day to such stuff!!! be off

or I’ll kick you downstairs”.

 “That is not said right,” said the caterpillar, “not quite right I’m afraid,” said Alice

timidly, some of the words have got altered, “it is wrong from beginning to end,”

said the Caterpillar decidedly and There was silence for some minutes.

the caterpillar was the first to speak “what size do you want to be” it asked, “

oh I’m not particular as to size” Alice hastily replied “only one doesn’t like changing

so often you know”, “I don’t know,” said the caterpillar, Alice said nothing she had

never been so much contradicted in her life before and she felt that she was losing

her temper “are you content now” said the caterpillar, “well I should like to be a little

larger sir if you wouldn’t mind” said Alice “three inches is such a wretched height

to be”, “it is a very good height indeed,” said the Caterpillar angrily rearing itself

upright as it spoke it was exactly three inches high, “but I’m not used to it” pleaded

poor Alice in a piteous tone and she thought to herself “I wish the creatures wouldn’t

be so easily offended”, “you’ll get used to it in time,” said the caterpillar and it put

the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.

This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak again, in a minute or two

the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its mouth and yawned once or twice and shook

itself then it got down off the mushroom and crawled away in the grass merely

remarking as it went “one side will make you grow taller and the other side will make

you grow shorter”, “one side of what? the other side of what?” thought Alice

to herself, “of the mushrooms” said the caterpillar just as if she had asked it aloud,

and in another moment it was out of sight.

Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a minute trying to make out

which were the two sides of it, and as it was perfectly round she found this a very

difficult question, however, at last, she stretched her arms round it as far as they

would go and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand, “and now which is which?”

she said to herself and nibbled a little of the right-hand bit to try the effect,

the next moment she felt a violent blow underneath her chin it had struck her foot,

she was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change but she felt that

there was no time to be lost as she was shrinking rapidly, so she set to work at once

to eat some of the other bit her chin was pressed so closely against her foot that

there was hardly room to open her mouth but she did it at last and managed

to swallow a morsel of the left-hand bit, come to my heads free at last said Alice in

a tone of delight which changed into alarm in another moment when she found

that her shoulders were nowhere to be found, all she could see when she looked

down was an immense length of neck which seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea

of green leaves that lay far below her.

“what can all that green stuff be,” said Alice “and where half my shoulders got to

and oh my poor hands how is it I can’t see you?” she was moving them about as she

spoke but no result seemed to follow except a little shaking among the green leaves.

As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her head, she tried

to get her head down to them and was delighted to find that her neck would Bend

about easily in any direction like a serpent, she had just succeeded in curving it down

into a graceful zigzag and was going to dive in among the leaves which she found

to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she had been wondering when

a sharp hiss made her drawback in a hurry, a large pigeon had flown into her face

and was beating her violently with its wings “serpent” screamed the pigeon, “I’m not

a serpent” said Alice indignantly “let me alone”, “serpent I say again” repeated

the pigeon but in a more subdued tone and added with a kind of sob “I have tried

every way and nothing seems to suit them”, “I haven’t the least idea what you’re

talking about” said Alice, “I’ve tried the roots of trees and I’ve tried banks and I’ve

tried hedges” the pigeon went on without attending to her “but those serpents

there’s no pleasing them”, Alice was more and more puzzled but she thought

there was no use in saying anything more till the pigeon had finished “as if it wasn’t

trouble enough, hatching the eggs” said the pigeon “but I must be on the lookout for

serpents night and day, why I haven’t had a wink of sleep these three weeks”,

 “I’m very sorry you’ve been annoyed,” said Alice who was beginning to see

its meaning, “and just as I had taken the highest tree in the wood” continued

the pigeon raising its voice to a shriek “and just as I was thinking I should be free

of them, at last, they must need come wriggling down from the sky, ug serpent”, 

But I’m not a serpent I tell you,” said Alice “I’m a, I’m a”, “well what are you?”

said the pigeon “I can see you’re trying to invent something”, “I…I’m a little girl”

said Alice rather doubtfully as you remembered the number of changes

she had gone through that day, “a likely story indeed” said the pigeon in a tone

of the deepest contempt, “I’ve seen a good many little girls in my time but never one

with such a neck as that, no no you’re a serpent and there’s no use denying it,

I suppose you’ll be telling me next that you never tasted an egg!”, “I have tasted eggs

certainly,” said Alice who was a very truthful child “but little girls eat eggs quite

as much as serpents do you know”, “I don’t believe it,” said the pigeon “but if they do

why then they’re a kind of serpent that’s all I can say”, this was such a new idea to

Alice that she was quite silent for a minute or two which gave the pigeon

the opportunity of adding “you’re looking for eggs I know that well enough and what

does it matter to me whether you’re a little girl or a serpent”, “it matters a good deal

to me,” said Alice hastily “but I’m not looking for eggs as it happens, and if I was,

I shouldn’t want yours, I don’t like them raw”, “well be off then,” said the pigeon

in a sulky tone as it settled down again into its nest.

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland1

Alice crouched down among the trees as well as she could for her neck kept getting

entangled among the branches and every now and then she had to stop and untwist

it, after a while she remembered that she still held the pieces of mushroom in her

hands and she set to work very carefully nibbling first at one and then at the other

and growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter until she had succeeded

In bringing herself down to her usual height, it was so long since she had been

anything near the right size that it felt quite strange at first but she got used to it

in a few minutes and began talking to herself as usual “come there’s half my plan

done now how puzzling all these changes are I’m never sure what I’m going

to be from one minute to another, however, I’ve got back to my right size, the next

thing is to get into that beautiful garden how is that to be done I wonder” as she said

this she came upon an open place with a little house in it about four feet high

“whoever lives there,” thought Alice “it’ll never do to come upon them this size, why I

should frighten them out of their wit’s so she began nibbling at the righthand bit

again and did not venture to go near the house till she had brought herself down

to nine inches high.  

Chapter six

pig and pepper

for a minute or two, she stood looking at the house and wondering what to do next,

when suddenly a footman in livery came running out of the wood– she considered him

to be a footman because he was in livery, otherwise judging by his face only she

would have called him a fish, and rapped loudly at the door with his knuckles, it was

opened by another footman in livery with a round face and large eyes like a frog

and both footmen, Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their heads.

She felt very curious to know what it was all about and crept a little way out

of the wood to listen, the fish-footman began by producing from under his arm

a great letter nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to the other saying in

a solemn tone “for the duchess, an invitation from the Queen to play croquet”,

the Frog footman repeated in the same solemn tone only changing the order

of the words a littlefrom the Queen an invitation for the Duchess to play croquet”,

then they both bowed low and their curls got entangled together.

Alice laughed so much at this that she had to run back into the wood for fear of their

hearing her and when she next peep out the fish-footman was gone and the other was

sitting on the ground near the door staring stupidly up into the sky, Alice went timidly

up to the door and knocked, “there is no sort of use in knocking” said the point man “

and that for two reasons, first because I’m on the same side of the door as you are,

secondly, because they’re making such a noise inside no one could possibly hear you”

and certainly, there was a most extraordinary noise going on within, a constant

howling and sneezing and every now and then a great crash as if a dish or kettle

had been broken to pieces.

“please then said Alice how am I to get in?”, “There might be some sense in your

knocking” the footman went on without attending to her “if we had the door between,

us for instance, if you were inside you might knock, and I could let you out you know”

he was looking up into the sky all the time he was speaking and this Alice thought

decidedly uncivil, but perhaps he can’t help it she said to herself “his eyes are so very

nearly at the top of his head but at any rate, he might answer questions”,

“how am I to get in she repeated aloud”, “I shall sit here,” the footman remarked,

“till tomorrow”, at this moment the door of the house opened and a large plate came

skimming out straight at the footman’s head, it just grazed his nose and broke

to pieces against one of the trees behind him “or next day maybe” the footman

continued in the same tone exactly as if nothing had happened.

How am I to get in!!?” asked Alice again in a louder tone “are you to get in at all”

said the footman “that’s the first question you know” it was no doubt only Alice did not

like to be told so “it’s really dreadful” she muttered to herselfthe way all the creatures

argue! it’s enough to drive one crazy”, the footman seemed to think this a good

opportunity for repeating his remark with variations “I shall sit here” he said

on and off for days and days”, “but what am I to do?” said Alice “anything you like”

said the footman and began whistling, “oh there’s no use in talking to him” said Alice

desperately “he’s perfectly idiotic”, and she opened the door and went in.

The door led right into a large kitchen which was full of smoke from one end

to the other, the Duchess was sitting on a three-legged stool in the middle nursing

a baby, the cook was leaning over the fire stirring a large cauldron which seemed

to be full of soup,there’s certainly too much pepper in that soup” Alice said to herself

as well as she could for sneezing there was certainly too much of it in the air even

the Duchess sneezed occasionally and as for the baby it was sneezing and howling

alternately without a moment’s pause, the only things in the kitchen

that did not sneeze were the cook and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth

and grinning from ear to ear.

“Please would you tell me?” said Alice a little timidly for she was not quite sure

whether it was good manners for her to speak firstwhy your cat grins like that?”

“it’s a Cheshire Cat,” said the Duchess “and that’s why, Pig!” she said the last word

with such sudden violence that Alice quite jumped, but she saw in another moment

that it was addressed to the baby and not to her, so she took courage and went on

again “I didn’t know that Cheshire cats always grinned, in fact, I didn’t know that cats

could grin”, “they all can,” said the Duchessand most of them do”, “I don’t know

of any that do” Alice said very politely feeling quite pleased to have got into

a conversation, “you don’t know much” said the Duchess, and “that’s a fact”, Alice did

not at all like the tone of this remark and thought it would be as well to introduce

some other subject of conversation, while she was trying to fix on one the cook took

the cauldron of soup off the fire and at once set to work throwing everything within

her reach the Duchess and the baby, the fire-irons came first then followed a shower

of saucepans plates and dishes, the Duchess took no notice of them even when they

hither and the baby was howling so much already that it was quite impossible to say

whether the blows hurt it or not.

“Oh please, mind what you’re doing” cried Alice jumping up and down in an agony

of terror “oh there goes his precious nose” as an unusually large saucepan flew

close by it and very nearly carried it off, “if everybody minded their own business!”

the Duchess said in a hoarse growl “the world would go round a deal faster than it

does”, “which would not be an advantage,” said Alice who felt very glad to get

an opportunity of showing off a little of her knowledge, “ just think of what work

it would make with the day and night, you see the earth takes 24 hours to turn round

on its axis”,talking of axes,” said the Duchess “chop off her head”, Alice glanced

rather anxiously at the cook to see if she meant to take the hint but the cook was busy

stirring the soup and seemed not to be listening, so she went on againtwenty-four

hours I think, or is it twelve? I…”, “oh don’t bother me,” said the Duchess “I never could

abide figures”, and with that, she began nursing her child again singing a sort

of lullaby to it as she did so and giving it a violent shake at the end of every line.

“speak roughly to your little boy and beat him when he sneezes

he only does it to annoy because he knows it teases”

the chorus in which the cook and the baby joined

“Wow Wow Wow”

well the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept tossing the baby

violently up and down and the poor little thing how old so that Alice could hardly hear

the words.

“I speak severely to my boy I beat him when he sneezes

for he can thoroughly enjoy The pepper when he pleases”


“Wow Wow Wow”

“here you may nurse it a bit if you like,” the Duchess said to Alice flinging the baby

at her, as she spoke, “I must go and get ready to play croquet with the Queen”

and she hurried out of the room.

The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out, but it just missed her.

Alice caught the baby with some difficulty as it was a queer-shaped little creature,

and held out his arms and legs in all directionsjust like a starfish” thought Alice,

the poor little thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it and kept

doubling itself up and straightening itself out again so that altogether

for the first minute or two, It was as much as she could do to hold it,

as soon as she had made out the proper way of Nursing it which was to twist it up

into a sort of knot and then keep tight hold of its right ear and left foot so as

to prevent its undoing itself, she carried it out into the open air “if I don’t take this child

away with me” thought Alicethey’re sure to kill it in a day or two, wouldn’t it be murder

to leave it behind!?” she said the last words out loud and the little thing grunted in

reply, it had left off sneezing by this time.

“Don’t grunt” said Alice “that’s not at all a proper way of expressing yourself”,

the baby grunted again and Alice looked very anxiously into its face to see what was

the matter with it, there could be no doubt that it had a very turned up nose much

more like a snout than a real nose, also its eyes were getting extremely small for

a baby, altogether Alice did not like the look of the thing at all.

“But perhaps it was only sobbing,” she thought and looked into its eyes again to see

if there were any tears, no there were no tears, “if you’re going to turn into a pig

my dear” said Alice seriously “I’ll have nothing more to do with you, mind now”, 

the poor little thing sobbed again or grunted it was impossible to say which,

and they went on for some while in silence.

Alice was just beginning to think to herself “now what am I to do with this creature

when I get it home” when it grunted again, so violently that she looks down into

its face in some alarm, this time there could be no mistake about it, it was neither

more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would be quite absurd for her to carry it

further, so she set the little creature down and felt quite relieved to see it trot away

quietly into the wood, “if it had grown up” she said to herself “it would have made

a dreadfully ugly child but it makes rather a handsome Pig I think” and she began

thinking over other children, she knew who might do very well as pigs and was just

saying to herself “if one only knew the right way to change them” when she was a little

startled by seeing the Cheshire cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards off,

the cat only grinned when it saw Alice “it looked good-natured” she thought “still it had

very long claws and a great many teeth” so she felt that it ought to be treated with

respectCheshire puss” she began rather timidly as she did not at all know whether

it would like the name, however, it only grinned a little wider “come it’s pleased so far”

thought Alice and she went on

would you tell me please which way I ought to go from here?”,

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the cat,

“I don’t much care where,” said Alice,

“then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the cat

“so long as I get somewhere” Alice added as an explanation,

“oh you’re sure to do that,” said the catif you only walk long enough”.

Alice felt that this could not be denied so she tried another question “what sort

of people live about here?”

“in that direction?” the cat said waving its right paw round “lives a hatter,

and in that direction” waving the other paw “lives a March Hare, visit either you like

they’re both mad”

“but I don’t want to go among mad people,” Alice remarked

“oh you can’t help that,” said the cat “we’re all mad here, I’m mad, you’re mad”

“how do you know I’m mad,” said Alice

“you must be,” said the cat ” or you wouldn’t have come here”

Alice didn’t think that proved it at all, however, she went on “and how do you know

that you’re mad?”

“to begin with,” said the cat ” a dog’s not mad, you grant that”

“I suppose so,” said Alice

“well then” the cat went on “you see a dog growls when it’s angry and wags its tail

when it’s pleasing, now I growl

when I’m pleased and wag my tail when I’m angry, therefore I’m mad”

“I call it purring not growling,” said Alice

“call it what you like,” said the Cat, “do you play croquet with the Queen today?”

I should like it very much” said Alicebut I haven’t been invited”

“yet you’ll see me there,” said the cat and vanished

Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used to queer things

happening, while she was looking at the place where it had been, it suddenly

appeared again “by the by, what became of the baby?” said the cat “I’d nearly

forgotten to ask”

“it turned into a pig” Alice quietly said, just as if it had come back in a natural way!!

“I thought it would,” said the cat and vanished again, Alice waited a little half

expecting to see it again but it did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked

on in the direction in which the March Hare was said to live.

“I’ve seen Hatter’s before,” she said to herself, the March Hare will be much the most

interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won’t be raving mad, at least not so mad

as it was in March” as she said this she looked up and there was the cat again sitting

on a branch of a tree,

“did you say pig or fig,” said the cat,

“I said Pig” replied Alice “and I wish you wouldn’t keep appearing and vanishing

so suddenly, you make one quite giddy”

“Alright,” said the cat, and this time it vanished quite slowly beginning with the end

of the tail and ending with the grin which remained some time after the rest of it

had gone.

“well I’ve often seen a cat without a grin,” thought Alice “but a grin without a cat, it’s

the most curious thing I ever saw in my life”.

She had not gone much farther before she came inside of the house

of the March Hare, she thought it must be the right house because the chimneys

were shaped like ears and the roof was thatched with fur, it was so large a house

that she did not like to go near it till she had nibbled some more of the left-hand bit of

the mushroom and raised herself to about two feet high, even then she walked up

towards it rather timidly saying to herself “suppose it should be raving mad after all,

I almost wish I had gone to see the Hatter instead”.

chapter 7

A mad tea-party

there was a table set out under a tree in front of the house

and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it, a dormouse was sitting

between them fast asleep and the other two were using it as a cushion resting

their elbows on it and talking over its head, “very uncomfortable for the dormouse”

thought Alice “only as it’s asleep, I suppose it doesn’t mind”.

The table was a large one but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it,

“no room, no room” they cried out when they saw Alice coming,

There’s plenty of rooms” said Alice indignantly and she sat down in a large armchair

at one end of the table,

“Have some wine” the March Hare said in an encouraging tone, Alice looked all round

at the table but there was nothing on it but tea,

“I don’t see any wine” she remarked

“There isn’t any” said the March Hare

“Then it wasn’t very civil of you to offer it” said Alice angrily,

“It wasn’t very civil of you to sit down without being invited” said the March Hare,

“I didn’t know it was your table” said Aliceit’s laid for a great many more than three”,

“Your hair wants cutting” said the Hatter he had been looking at Alice for some time

with great curiosity and this was his first speech “you should learn not to make

personal remarks”

Alice said with some severity “it’s very rude”,

the Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this but all he said was

“why is a raven like a writing-desk, come we shall have some fun now”,

thought AliceI’m glad they’ve begun asking riddles “I believe I can guess that”

she added aloud,

“Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to it” said the March Hare,

“Exactly so” said Alice,

“Then you should say what you mean” the March Hare went on,

“I do” Alice hastily replied “at least…at least I mean what I say, that’s the same thing

you know”,

“Not the same thing a bit” said the Hatter “you might just as well say that I see what

I eat is the same thing as I eat what I see”,

“You might just as well say” added the March Hare “that I like what I get is the same

thing as I get what I like”,

“You might just as well say” added the Dormouse who seemed to be talking in his

sleep “that I breathe when I sleep is the same thing as I sleep when I breathe”,

“It is the same thing with you” said the Hatter, and here the conversation dropped

and the part he sat silent for a minute while Alice thought over all she could

remember about Ravens and writing desks which wasn’t much.

The Hatter was the first to break the silence “what day of the month is it?”

he said turning to Alice, he had taken his watch out of his pocket and was looking at

it uneasily, shaking it every now and then, and holding it to his ear, Alice considered

a little and then said “the fourth”, “two days wrong” sighed the Hatter, “I told you

butter wouldn’t suit the works” he added looking angrily at the March Hare,

“It was the best butter” the March Hare meekly replied,

“Yes but some crumbs must have got in as well” the Hatter grumbled “you shouldn’t

have put it in with the bread-knife”,

The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily then he dipped it into his

cup of tea and looked at it again, but he could think of nothing better to say than his

first remark “it was the best butter you know”, Alice had been looking over

his shoulder with some curiositywhat a funny watch” she remarked “it tells

the day of the month and doesn’t tell what o’clock it is”

“Why should it?” muttered the Hatter “does your watch tell you what year it is?”,

“Of course not” Alice replied very readily “but that’s because it stays the same year

 for such a long time together”,

“Which is just the case with mine” said the Hatter,

Alice felt dreadfully puzzled, the Hatters remark seemed to have no sort of meaning

in it and yet it was certainly English, “I don’t quite understand you” she said

as politely as she could,

“The Dormouse is asleep again” said the Hatter and he poured a little hot tea upon

its nose, the Dormouse shook its head impatiently and said without opening its eyes

“of course, of course just what I was going to remark myself”,

“Have you guessed the riddle yet” the Hatter said turning to Alice again,

“No I give it up” Alice replied “what’s the answer?”,

“I haven’t the slightest idea” said the Hatter, “nor I” said the March Hare,

Alice sighed wearily “I think you might do something better with the time” she said

“then wasted in asking riddles that have no answers”,

“If you knew time as well as I do” said the Hatter “you wouldn’t talk about wasting it,

it’s him”,

“I don’t know what you mean” said Alice,

“Of course you don’t” the Hatter said tossing his head contemptuously “I dare say

you never even spoke to time”,

“perhaps not” Alice cautiously replied “but I know I have to be time when I learn


“Ah that accounts for it” said the Hatter “he won’t stand beating now, if you only kept

on good terms with him he’d do almost anything you liked with the clock, for instance

suppose it were nine o’clock in the morning just time to begin lessons, you’d only

have to whisper a hint to time and round goes the clock in a twinkling, half-past

one time for dinner”,

“I only wish it was” the March Hare said to itself in a whisper,

“That would be grand certainly” said Alice thoughtfully “but then I shouldn’t be

 hungry for it you know”,

“Not at first perhaps” said the Hatter “but you could keep it to half-past one

as long as you liked”,

“Is that the way you manage” Alice asked,

the Hatter shook his head mournfully “not high” he replied “we quarrelled last March

just before he went mad you know” pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare, “it

was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts and I had to sing

twinkle twinkle little bat

how I wonder what you’re at

you know the song perhaps”

“I’ve heard something like it” said Alice,

“it goes on you know” the Hatter continued in this way

up above the world you fly

like a tea-tray in the sky

twinkle twinkle

here the Dormouse shook itself and began singing in its sleep

Twinkle Twinkle Twinkle Twinkle

and went on so long that they had to pinch it to make it stop, “well I’d hardly finished

the first verse” said the hatter “when the queen jumped up and bawled out he’s

murdering the time off with his head”,

“How dreadfully savage” exclaimed Alice,

“And ever since that” the hatter went on in a mournful tone “he won’t do a thing I ask,

it’s always six o’clock now”,

a bright idea came into Alice’s head “is that the reason so many tea things are put

out here?” she asked ,

“Yes that’s it” said the Hatter with a sigh “it’s always teatime and we’ve no time

to wash the things between whiles”,

“Then you keep moving round I suppose” said Alice,

“Exactly so” said the hatter “as the things get used up”,

“But what happens when you come to the beginning again?” Alice ventured to ask,

“Suppose we change the subject” the March Hare interrupted yawning “I’m getting

tired of this, I vote the young lady tells us a story”,

“I’m afraid I don’t know one” said Alice rather alarmed at the proposal,

then the Dormouse shall they both cried “wake up dormouse” and they pinched it

on both sides at once، the Dormouse slowly opened his eyes “I wasn’t asleep”

he said in a hoarse feeble voice “I heard every word، you fellows were saying”

 “tell us a story” said the March Hare,

“yes please do” pleaded Alice,

“And be quick about it” added the Hatter “or you’ll be asleep again before it’s done”,

“Once upon a time there were three little sisters” the Dormouse began in a great

hurry “and their names were Elsie, LaCie, and Tillie and they lived at the bottom

of a well”,

“what did they live on” said Alice who always took a great interest in questions

of eating and drinking,

“They lived on treacle” said the Dormouse after thinking a minute or two,

“They couldn’t have done that you know” Alice gently remarked ” they’d have been ill”,

“So they were” said the Dormouse “very ill”,

Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary way of living would be like

but it puzzled her too much so she went on “but why did they live at the bottom of

 a well”,

“Take some R tea” the March Hare said to Alice very earnestly,

“I’ve had nothing yet” Alice replied in an offended tone “so I can’t take more”,

“You mean you can’t take less” said the Hatter “it’s very easy to take                      more than nothing”,

“Nobody asked your opinions” add Alice,

“who’s making personal remarks now?” the Hatter asked triumphantly,

Alice did not quite know what to say to this so she helped herself to some tea

and bread-and-butter and then turned to the Dormouse and repeated her question

“why did they live at the bottom of a well?”,

the Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it and then said ” it was a treacle well”,

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

“There’s no such thing” Alice was beginning very angrily, but the Hatter

and the March Hare went “sh sh” and the Dormouse sulkily remarked “if you can’t

be civil you’d better finish the story for yourself”,

“No please go on,” Alice said very humbly “I won’t interrupt again, I dare say there may be one”,

“One indeed,” said the Dormouse indignantly however he consented to go on “

and so these three little sisters they were learning to draw you know”,

“What did they draw,” said Alice quite forgetting her promise,

“Treacle,” said the dormouse without considering at all this time,

“I want a clean cup” interrupted the hatter ” let’s all move one place on” he moved on

as he spoke and the dormouse followed him the March Hare moved into the

dormouse’s place and Alice rather unwillingly took the place of the March Hare,

the Hatter was the only one who got any advantage from the change and Alice was

a good deal worse off than before as the March Hare had just upset the milk-jug into

his plate.

Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again so she began very cautiously

“but I don’t understand where did they draw the treacle from?”,

“You can draw water out of a water well,” said the Hatter “so I should think you could

draw treacle out of a treacle well, hey stupid!!”,

“But they were in the well?” Alice said to the Dormouse not choosing to notice

this last remark,

“Of course they were,” said the Dormouse “well in”, this answer so confused poor

Alice that she let the Dormouse go on for some time without interrupting it,

“They were learning to draw” the Dormouse went on yawning and rubbing its eyes for

it was getting very sleepy “and they drew all manner of things, everything that begins

with an M”,

“Why with an M?” said Alice,

“why not?” said the March Hare, Alice was silent.

The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time and was going off into a doze,

but on being pinched by the Hatter it woke up again with a little shriek and went on

“that begins with an M such as

Mousetraps and the Moon and Memory and Muchness you know, you say things

are much of a muchness, did you ever see

such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?”,

“Really, now you ask me?” said Alice very much confused “I don’t think”,

“Then you shouldn’t talk,” said the Hatter, this piece of rudeness was more than Alice

could bear, she got up and great disgust and walked off, the Dormouse fell asleep

instantly and neither of the others took the least notice of her going, though

she looked back once or twice half hoping that they would call after her, the last time

she saw them they were trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.

“At any rate, I’ll never go there again,” said Alice as she picked her way through

the wood “it’s the stupidest tea-party I ever was at in all my life” just as she said this

she noticed that one of the trees had a door leading right into itthat’s very curious,”

she thought “but everything’s curious today, I think I may as well go in at once”

and in she went.

Once more she found herself in the long hall and close to the little glass table

now I’ll manage better this time” she said to herself and began by taking the little

golden key and unlocking the door that led into the garden then she went to work

nibbling at the mushroom, she had kept a piece of it in her pocket till she was about

a foot high then she walked down the little passage and then she found herself at last

in the beautiful garden among the bright flowerbeds and the cool fountains

chapter 8

The Queen’s croquet-ground

A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden, the Roses growing on it were

white but there were three gardeners at it busily painting them red.

Alice thought this a very curious thing and she went nearer to watch them and just

as she came up to them she heard one of them say “look out now five don’t go

splashing paint over me like that”

“I couldn’t help it” said five in a sulky tone “seven jogged my elbow”,

on which seven looked up and said “that’s right, five always lay the blame on others”

“you’ve better not talks at five I heard the Queen say only yesterday you deserved to be


“what for? said the one who had spoken first,

“that’s none of your business two,” said seven

“yes it is his business,” said five “and I’ll tell him it was for bringing the cook tulip roots

instead of onions”,

seven flung down his brush and had just begun “well of all the unjust things”,

when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice as she stood watching them and he checked

himself suddenly, the others looked around also and all of them bowed low,

“would you tell me” said Alice a little timidly “why you are painting those roses?”

five and seven said nothing but looked at two, two began in the low voice “

why the fact is you see Miss this here ought to have been a red rose tree and we put

a white one in by mistake and if the Queen was to find it out we should all have our

heads cut off you know, so you see Miss we’re doing our best before she comes to”

at this moment five who had been anxiously looking across the garden called out

“the Queen, the Queen”, and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat,

upon their faces there was a sound of many footsteps and Alice looked round eager

to see the Queen.

First came ten soldiers carrying clubs, these were all shaped like the three gardeners,

oblong and flat with their hands and feet at the corners, next the ten courtiers these

were ornamented all over with diamonds and walked two and two as the soldiers

did after these came the Royal children there were ten of them and the little dears

came jumping merrily along with hand in hand in couples, they were all ornamented

with hearts, next came the guests mostly kings and queens and among them Alice

recognized the White Rabbit it was talking in a hurried nervous manner smiling

at everything that was said and went by without noticing her, then followed the knave

of hearts carrying the king’s crown on a crimson velvet cushion, and last of all t

his grand procession came the King and Queen of Hearts.

Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on her face like

the three gardeners but she could not remember ever having heard of such a rule

at processions, and besides what would be the use of a procession thought she

if people had all to lie down upon their faces so that they couldn’t see it, so she stood

still where she was and waited when the procession came opposite to Alice, they all

stopped and looked at her and the Queen said severely “who is this”, she said it to

the knave of hearts who only bowed and smiled in reply,

“Idiots,” said the Queen tossing her head impatiently and turning to Alice, she went on

“what’s your name child?”

“My name is Alice, so please your majesty,” said Alice very politely but she added

to herself “why they’re only a pack of cards after all I needn’t be afraid of them”,

“And who are these?” said the Queen pointing to the three gardeners who were lying

round the rose-tree before, you see as they were lying on their faces and the pattern

on their backs was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether

they were gardeners or soldiers or courtiers or three of her own children,

“How should I know,” said Alice surprised at her own courage “it’s no business

of mine”

the queen turned crimson with fury and after glaring at her for a moment like a wild

beast screamed “off with her head, off”,

“Nonsense,” said Alice very loudly and decidedly and the Queen was silent, the King

laid his hand upon her arm and timidly saidconsider my dear, she is only a child”,

the queen turned angrily away from him and said to the knave “turn them over”,

the knave did so very carefully with one foot, “get up” said the Queen in a shrill loud

voice and the three gardeners instantly jumped up and began bowing to the king

the Queen, the Royal children, and everybody else,

“leave off that” screamed the Queen “you make me giddy”, and then turning to the

rose-tree, she went on “what have you been doing here?”

“May it please your Majesty,” said two in a very humble tone, going down on one knee

as he spoke “we were trying…”,

“I see,” said the queen who had meanwhile been examining the roses “off with

their heads”, and the procession moved on, three of the soldiers remaining behind

to execute the unfortunate gardeners who ran to Alice for protection,

“You shan’t be beheaded,” said Alice and she put them into a large flowerpot that

stood near, the three soldiers wandered about for a minute or two looking for them

and then quietly marched off after the others, “are their heads off?!” shouted

the Queen,

“Their heads are gone if it pleases your Majesty” the soldiers shouted in reply,

“that’s right” shouted the Queen “can you play croquet?”, the soldiers were silent

and looked at Alice as the question was evidently meant for her,

yes” shouted Alice,

“come on then” roared the Queen,

and Alice joined the procession wondering very much what would happen next,

“it’s…it’s a very fine day,” said a timid voice at her side, she was walking by the White

Rabbit who was peeping anxiously into her face,

“very,” said Alice “where is the Duchess?”

“hush…hush!!” said the rabbit in a low hurried tone, he looked anxiously over

his shoulder as he spoke and then raised himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close

to her ear, and whispered “she’s under sentence of execution”

“what for!!?” said Alice,

“did you say what a pity? the rabbit asked,

“no I didn’t,” said Alice “I don’t think it’s at all a pity, I said what for?”

“she boxed the Queen’s ears” the rabbit began, Alice gave a little scream of laughter

“oh hush” the Rabbit whispered in a frightened tone “the Queen will hear you, you see

she came rather late”,

and the Queen saidget to your places” shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder

and people began running about in all directions tumbling up against each other

however they got settled down in a minute or two and the game began.

Alice thought she had never seen such a curious croquet-ground in her life, it was all

ridges and furrows, the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live flamingoes,

and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to stand on their hands and feet

to make the arches, the chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her

flamingo, she succeeded in getting its body tucked away comfortably enough under

her arm with its legs hanging down but generally just as she had got its neck nicely

straightened out and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it would

twist itself round and look up into her face with such a puzzled expression that

she could not help bursting out laughing, and when she had got its head down

and was going to begin again it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had

unrolled itself and was in the act of crawling away, besides all this, there was generally

a ridge or furrow in the way wherever she wanted to send the hedgehog to, and as

the doubled-up soldiers were always getting up and walking off to other parts of

the ground Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very difficult game indeed,

the players all played at once without waiting for turns, quarreling all the while

and fighting for the hedgehogs, and in a very short time the Queen was in a furious

passion and went stamping about and shouting “off with his head” or “off with her

head” about once a minute.

Alice began to feel very uneasy to be sure she had not as yet had any dispute with

the Queen but she knew that it might happen any minute,and then” thought she

“what would become of me!? they‘re dreadfully fond of beheading people here,

the great wonder is that there’s anyone left alive!!?”, she was looking about for some

way of escape and wondering whether she could get away without being seen, when

she noticed a curious appearance in the air, it puzzled her very much at first but after

watching it a minute or two she made it out to be a grin and she said to herself “it’s the

Cheshire Cat, now I shall have somebody to talk to”,

“How are you getting on?” said the cat as soon as there was mouth enough for it

to speak,

with Alice wait until the eyes appeared and then nodded “it’s no use speaking to it”

she thought “till its ears have come, or at least one of them” in another minute

the whole head appeared and then Alice put down her Flamingo and began an

account of the game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her, the cat

seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight and no more of it appeared,

“I don’t think they play at all fairly” Alice began in rather a complaining tone “

and they all quarrel so dreadfully one can’t hear oneself speak, and they don’t seem

to have any rules in particular, at least if there are nobody attends to them, and you’ve

no idea how confusing it is all the things being alive, for instance there’s the arch I’ve

got to go through next walking about at the other end of the ground, and I should have

croqueted the queen’s hedgehog just now only it ran away when it saw mine coming”

“how do you like the Queen?” said the Cat in a low voice

“not at all,” said Alice “she’s so extremely…”  just then she noticed that the Queen was

close behind her listening so she went on “likely to win that it’s hardly worthwhile

finishing the game” the Queen smiled and passed on,

“Who are you talking to?” said the King going up to Alice and looking at the cat’s head with great curiosity,

“it’s a friend of mine, a Cheshire cat,” said Alice “allow me to introduce it”,

“I don’t like the look of it at all” said the king “however it may kiss my hand if it likes”,

“I’d rather not,” the cat remarked

“don’t be impertinent,” said the king, “and don’t look at me like that” he got behind Alice as he spoke,

“a cat may look at a king,” said Alice “I’ve read that in some book, but I don’t remember where”

“well, it must be removed,” said the King very decidedly and he called the Queen who was passing at the moment “my dear I wish you would have this cat removed”,

the Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties great or small “off with his head” and she said without even looking around,

“I’ll fetch the executioner myself,” said the King eagerly and he hurried off.

Alice thought she might as well go back and see how the game was going on

as she heard the Queen’s voice in the distance screaming with passion, she had

already heard her sentence three of the players to be executed for having missed their

turns, and she did not like the look of things at all as the game was in such confusion

that she never knew whether it was her turn or not, so she went in search of her

Hedgehog, the Hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog which

seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for crocheting one of them with the other

the only difficulty was that her flamingo was gone across to the other

side of the garden where alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up into

a tree, by the time she had caught the Flamingo and brought it back, the fight was over

and both the Hedgehog’s were out of sight, but it doesn’t matter much thought Alice

as all the arches are gone from this side of the ground, so she tucked it away under

her arm that it might not escape again and went back for a little more conversation

with her friend.

when she got back to the Cheshire Cat she was surprised to find quite a large crowd

collected round it, there was a dispute going on between the executioner, the king,

and the queen who were all talking at once while all the rest were quite silent

and looked very uncomfortable, the moment Alice appeared she was appealed to

by all three to settle the question and they repeated their arguments to her though

as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed to make out exactly what

they said,

the executioner’s argument was that you couldn’t cut off a head unless there was a

body to cut it off from that he had never had to do such a thing before and he wasn’t

going to begin at his time of life,

the Kings argument was that anything that had a head could be beheaded and that

you weren’t to talk nonsense,

the Queen’s argument was that if something wasn’t done about it in less than no time

she’d have everybody executed all around.

It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so grave and anxious,

Alice could think of nothing else to say but “it belongs to the Duchess you’d better

ask her about it”,

“she’s in prison,” the Queen said to the executioner “fetch her here” and the executioner

went off like an arrow, the cat’s head began fading away the moment he was gone,

and by the time he had come back with the Duchess, it had entirely disappeared,

so the king and the executioner ran wildly up and down looking for it while the rest

of the party went back to the game.

chapter 9

The mock Turtles story

“You can’t think how glad I am to see you again you dear old thing” said the Duchess

as she tucked her arm affectionately into Alice’s and they walked off together,

Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper and thought to herself that

perhaps it was only the pepper that had made her so savage when they met

in the kitchen, “when I’m a Duchess” she said to herself not in a very hopeful tone

though “I won’t have any pepper in my kitchen at all, soup does very well without,

maybe it’s always pepper that makes people hot-tempered”, she went on very much

pleased at having found out a new kind of rule “and vinegar that makes them sour, and

chamomile that makes them bitter, and and barley sugar and such things that make

children sweet-tempered, I only wish people knew that then they wouldn’t be so stingy

about it you know” she had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time and was a little

startled when she heard her voice close to her ear,

“you’re thinking about something my dear and that makes you forget to talk, I can’t tell

you just now what the moral of that is but I shall remember it in a bit”,

“Perhaps it hasn’t” won Alice ventured to remark,

“tut tut child,” said the Duchesseverything’s got a moral if only you can find it”

and she squeezed herself up closer to Alice’s side as she spoke.

Alice did not much like keeping so close to her, first because the Duchess was very

ugly and secondly because she was exactly the right height to rest her chin upon

Alice’s shoulder and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin, however she did not like

to be rude so she bore it as well as she could.

“The games going on rather better now,” she said by a way of keeping up

the conversation a little,

“It is so,” said the Duchess “and the moral of that is Oh tis loved his love that makes

the world go round”,

“somebody,” said Alice whispered “that it’s done by everybody minding

their own business”,

“oh, well it means much the same thing,” said the Duchess digging her sharp little chin

into Alice’s shoulder as she added “and the moral of that is take care of the sense

and the sounds will take care of themselves”,

“How fond she is of finding morals and things,” Alice thought to herself,

“I daresay you’re wondering why I don’t put my arm around your waist” the Duchess

said after a pause “the reason is that I’m doubtful about the temper of your flamingo,

shall I try the experiment”,

“he might bite” Alice cautiously replied not feeling at all anxious to have

the experiment tried,

“very true,” said the Duchess “Flamingo and mustard both bite and the moral of that

is birds of a feather flock together”,

“Only mustard isn’t a bird,” Alice remarked,

“right as usual,” said the Duchesswhat a clear way you have of putting things”,

“it’s a mineral I think,” said Alice,

“of course, it is” said the Duchess who seemed ready to agree to everything that Alice

said, there’s a large mustard mine near here and the moral of that is the more

there is of mine the less there is of yours”,

“oh I know” exclaimed Alice who had not attended to this last remarkit’s a vegetable,

it doesn’t look like one but it is”,

“I quite agree with you,” said the Duchess and the moral of that is what you would

seem to be or if you would like it to be put more simply never imagine yourself not to be

otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been

was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be


“I think I should understand that better” Alice said very politely “if I had it written down

but I can’t quite follow it as you say it”,

“that’s nothing to what I could say if I chose” the Duchess replied in a pleased tone,

“pray don’t trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,” said Alice,

“oh don’t talk about trouble,” said the Duchess “I make you a present of everything I’ve

said as yet”,

“a cheap sort of present,” thought Alice “I’m glad they don’t give birthday presents

like that”, but she did not venture to say it out loud,

“thinking again?!” the Duchess asked with another dig of her sharp little chin,

“I have a right to think” said Alice sharply for she was beginning to feel a little worried,

“just about as much right” said the Duchess “as pigs have to fly and mmm”, but here

to Alice’s great surprise the Duchess’s voice died away even in the middle of her

favorite word morale, and the arm that was linked into hers began to tremble,

Alice looked up and there stood the Queen in front of them with her arms folded

frowning like a thunderstorm,

“a fine day Your Majesty” the Duchess began in a low weak voice,

“now I give you fair warning” shouted the Queen stamping on the ground as she spoke

“either you or your head must be off and that in about half no time, take your choice”

the Duchess took her choice and was gone in a moment “let’s go on with the game”

the Queen said to Alice and Alice was too much frightened to say a word but slowly

followed her back to the croquet ground.

the other guests had taken advantage of the Queen’s absence and were resting

in the shade, however, the moment they saw her they hurried back to the game,

the Queen merely remarking that, a moment’s delay would cost them their lives.

All the time they were playing the Queen never left off quarreling with the other players

and shouting “off with his head, or off with her head”, those whom she sentenced

were taken into custody by the soldiers who of course had to leave off being arches

to do this so that by the end of half an hour or so there were no arches left

and all the players except the King the Queen and Alice were in custody and under

sentence of execution.

Then the Queen left off quite out of breath and said to Alice “have you seen the mock turtle yet?”

“no” said Alice “I don’t even know what a mock turtle is!”,

“it’s the thing mock turtle soup is made from” said the Queen,

“I never saw one or heard of one” said Alice,

“come on then” said the Queen and he shall tell you his history.

As they walked off together Alice heard the King say in a low voice to the company

generally “you are all pardoned”,

“come that’s a good thing” she said to herself for she had felt quite unhappy

at the number of executions the Queen had ordered.

they very soon came upon a gryphon lying fast asleep in the Sun -if you don’t know

what a gryphon is look at the picture- “up lazy things” said the Queen “and take this

young lady to see the mock turtle and to hear his history, I must go back and see after

some executions I have ordered”

and she walked off leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon, Alice did not quite like

the look of the creature but on the whole she thought it would be quite as safe to stay

with it as to go after that savage Queen so she waited, the Gryphon sat up and rubbed

its eyes then it watched the Queen till she was out of sight then it chuckled “what fun”

said the Gryphon half to itself half to Alice,

“what is the fun?” said Alice

“why! she” said the Gryphon “it’s all her fancy that they never executes nobody you know, come on”

“everybody says come on here” thought Alice as she went slowly after it, “I never was

so ordered about in all my life, never”.

they had not gone far before they saw the mock turtle in the distance sitting sad

and lonely on a little ledge of rock and as they came nearer Alice could hear him

sighing as if his heart would break, she pitied him deeply “what is his sorrow?”

she asked the Gryphon and the Gryphon answered very nearly in the same words

as before

“it’s all his fancy that he hasn’t got no sorrow you know, come on”,

so they went up to the mock turtle who looked at them with large eyes full of tears

but said nothing “this year young lady” said the Gryphon “she wants for to know your

history, she do”

“I’ll tell it her” said the mock turtle in a deep hollow tone “sit down both of you

and don’t speak a word till I finished”

so they sat down and nobody spoke for some minutes, Alice thought to herself “

I don’t see how he can ever finish if he doesn’t begin” but she waited patiently

“once” said the mock turtle at last with a deep sigh “I was a real turtle” these words

were followed by a very long silence broken only by an occasional exclamation

of horror from the Gryphon and the constant heavy sobbing of the mock turtle,

Alice was very nearly getting up and saying thank you sir for your interesting story

but she could not help thinking there must be more to come, so she sat still

and said nothing.

“when we were little” the mock turtle went on at last more calmly though still sobbing

a little now and then “we went to school in the sea, the master was an old turtle we used to call him tortoise”

“why did you call him tortoise if he wasn’t one?” Alice asked

“we call him tortoise because he taught us” said the mock turtle angrily, really you are very dull”,

“you ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple question” added

the Gryphon and then they both sat silent and looked at poor Alice who felt ready

to sink into the earth, at last the Gryphon said to the mock turtle “drive on old fellow,

don’t be all day about it”, and he went on in these words “yes we went to school

in the sea though you never to believe it”,

“I never said I didn’t” interrupted Alice

“you did” said the mock turtle, “hold your tongue” added the Gryphon before Alice

could speak again, the mock turtle went on “we had the best of Education in fact we

went to school every day”

“I’ve been to a day school too” said Alice you needn’t be so proud as all that”

“with extras” asked the mock turtle a little anxiously,

“yes” said Alice “we learned French and music”,

“and washing” said the mock turtle,

“certainly not” said Alice indignantly,

“Ah, then yours wasn’t a really good school” said the mock turtle in a tone of great

relief “now at hours they had at the end of the bill French music and washing extra”,

“you couldn’t have wanted it much” said Aliceliving at the bottom of the sea”

“I couldn’t afford to learn it” said the mock turtle with a sigh “I only took the regular course”,

“what was that?” inquired Alice

“reeling and writhing of course to begin with” the mock turtle replied

and then the different branches of arithmetic ambition, distraction, uglification and derision”,

“I never heard of uglification” Alice ventured to saywhat is it?”

the Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise “what never heard of Uggla fiy!!”

it exclaimed “you know what to beautify is I suppose?!”

“yes” said Alice doubtfully “it means to make anything prettier”

“well then” the Gryphon went on “if you don’t know what to uglyPhi is you are a simpleton”

Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about it so she turned to the mock turtle and said “what else had you to learn?”

“well there was mystery” the mock turtle replied “counting off the subjects on his

flappers, mystery ancient and modern with seaography, then drawling, the drawling

master was an old conger eel that used to come once a week, he taught us drawling,

stretching and fainting in coils”

“what was that like” said Alice

“well I can’t show it you myself” the mock turtle said “I’m too stiff and the Gryphon

never learnt it”

“hadn’t time” said the Gryphon

“I went to the classics master though, he was an old crab he was, I never went to him” the mock turtle said with a sigh “he taught laughing and grief they used to say”

“so he did, so he did” said the Gryphon sighing in his turn and both creatures hid their faces in their paws

“and how many hours a day did you do lessons?” said Alice in a hurry to change the subject,

“ten hours the first day” said the mock turtle “nine the next and so on”

“what a curious plan!!?” exclaimed Alice

“that’s the reason they’re called lessons” the Griffin remarked “because they lesson from day to day”

this was quite a new idea to Alice and she thought it over a little before she made her next remarkthen the eleventh day must have been a holiday!”

“of course it was” said the mock turtle

“and how did you manage on the twelfth” Alice went on eagerly

“that’s enough about lessons the Gryphon interrupted in a very decided tone “tell her something about the games now”.

Chapter 10

The Lobster Quadrille

the mock turtle sighed deeply and drew the back of one flapper across his eyes,

he looked at Alice and tried to speak but for a minute or two sobs choked his voice

“same as if he had a bone in his throat” said the Gryphon and it set to work shaking

him and punching him in the back, at last the mock turtle recovered his voice and with

tears running down his cheeks he went on again

“you may not have lived much under the sea”

“I haven’t” said Alice

“and perhaps you were never even introduced to a lobster”

Alice began to say “I once tasted” but checked herself hastily and said “no, never”

“so you can’t have no idea what a delightful thing a lobster quadrille is”

“no indeed” said Alice “what sort of a dance is it?”

“why” said the Gryphon “you first form into a line along the seashore”

“two lines” cried the mock turtle “seals, turtles, salmon and so on, then when you’ve cleared all the jellyfish out of the way!”

“that generally takes some time” interrupted the Gryphon “you advanced twice each with a lobster as a partner” cried the Gryphon

“of course” the mock turtle said “advance twice set to partners”

“change lobsters and retire in same order” continued the Gryphon

“then you know” the mock turtle went on

“you throw the the lobsters” shouted the Gryphon with a bound into the air

“as far out to sea as you can”,

“swim after them” screamed the Gryphon,

“turn a somersault in the sea” cried the mock turtle “capering wildly about”

“change lobsters again” yelled the Gryphon at the top of its voice

“back to land again and that’s all the first figure” said the mock turtle suddenly

dropping his voice and the two creatures who had been jumping about like mad

things all this time sat down again very sadly and quietly and looked at Alice

“it must be a very pretty dance” said Alice timidly

“would you like to see a little of it” said the mock turtle

“very much indeed” said Alice

“come let’s try the first figure” said the mock turtle to the Gryphon “we can do without lobsters you know which shall sing”

“oh you sing” said the Gryphon “I’ve forgotten the words”

so they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now and then treading

on her toes when they passed too close and waving their forepaws to mark the time

while the mock turtle sang this very slowly and sadly

will you walk a little faster said a whiting to a snail

there’s a porpoise close behind us and he’s treading on my tail

see how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance

they are waiting on the shingle will you come and join the dance

will you won’t you will you won’t you will you join the dance

will you won’t you will you won’t you won’t you join the dance

you can really have no notion how delightful it will be

when they take us up and throw us with the lobsters out to sea

but the snail replied too far too far and gave a look askance

said he thanked the whiting kindly but he would not join the dance

would not could not would not could not would not join the dance

would not could not would not could not could not join the dance

what matters it how far we go his scaly friend replied

there is another Shore you know upon the other side

the further off from England the nearer is to France

then turn not pale beloved snail but come and join the dance

will you won’t you will you won’t you will you join the dance

will you won’t you will you won’t you won’t you join the dance

“thank you it’s a very interesting dance to watch” said Alice feeling very glad that it was over at last, and I do so like that curious song about the whiting”

“oh as to the whiting” said the mock turtle “they you’ve seen them of course”

“yes” said Alice “I’ve often seen them at DIHN” she checked herself hastily

“I don’t know where dihn may be” said the mock turtle “but if you’ve seen them so often of course you know what they’re like”

“I believe so” Alice replied thoughtfully “they have their tails in their mouths and they’re all over crumbs”

“you’re wrong about the crumbs” said the mock turtlecrumbs would all wash off in the seat, but they have their tails in their mouths and the reason is..”

here the mock turtle yawned and shut his eyes “tell her about the reason and all that” he said to the Gryphon

“the reason is” said the Gryphon “that they would go with the lobsters to the dance so they got thrown out to sea so they had to fall a long way so they got their tails fast in their mouths so they couldn’t get them out again that’s all”

“thank you” said Alice “it’s very interesting, I never knew so much about a whiting before”

“I can tell you more than that if you like” said the Griffin “do you know why it’s called a whiting?”

“I never thought about it” said Alice, why?”

“it does the boots and shoes” the Gryphon replied very solemnly.

Alice was thoroughly puzzleddoes the boots and shoes!!” she repeated in a wondering tone

“Why What are your shoes done with?” said the Gryphon “I mean what makes them so shiny?”

“Alice looked down at them and considered a little before she gave her answer “they’re done with blacking I believe”

“boots and shoes under the sea” the Gryphon went on in a deep voice “are done with a whiting now you know”

“and what are they made of?” Alice asked in a tone of great curiosity

“soles and eels of course” the Gryphon replied rather impatiently “any shrimp could have told you that”

“if I’d been the Whiting’s” said Alice whose thoughts were still running on the song “I’d have said to the porpoise ‘keep back please we don’t want you with us”

“they were obliged to have him with them” the mock turtle said “no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise”

“wouldn’t it really” said Alice in a tone of great surprise

“of course not” said the mock turtle “why if a fish came to me and told me he was going on a journey I should say with what porpoise”

“don’t you mean purpose?!” said Alice

“I mean what I say” the mock turtle replied in an offended tone, and the Gryphon added “come let’s hear some of your adventures”

“I could tell you my adventures beginning from this morning” said Alice a little timidly “but it’s no use going back to yesterday because I was a different person then”

“explain all that” said the mock turtle

“no, no the adventures first” said the Gryphon in an impatient toneexplanations take such a dreadful time”

so Alice began telling them her advatures from the time when she first saw the White

Rabbit, she was a little nervous about it just at first the two creatures got so close

to her one on each side and opened their eyes and mouths so very wide,

but she gained courage as she went on her listeners were perfectly quiet till

she got to the part about her repeating “you are old father William” to the caterpillar

and the words all coming different and then the mock turtle drew a long breath

and said “that’s very curious”

“it’s all about as curious as it can be” said the Gryphon

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

“it all came different” the mock turtle repeated

thoughtfully “I should like to hear her try and repeat

something now, tell her to begin” he looked at the

Griffin as if he thought it had

some kind of authority over Alice

“stand up and repeat ’tis the voice of the sluggard’ “ said the Gryphon

“how of the creatures order One about and make one repeat lessons” thought Alice

“I might as well be at school at once” however she got up and began to repeat it

but her head was so full of the lobster quadrille that she hardly knew what she was

saying and the words came very queer indeed

tis the voice of the lobster I heard him declare

you have baked me too Brown I must sugar my hair

as a duck with its eyelids so he with his nose

trims his belt and his buttons and turns out his toes

when the sands are all dry he is gay as a lark

and will talk in contemptuous tones of the shark

but when the tide rises and sharks are around

his voice has a timid and tremulous sound

“that’s different from what I used to say when I was a child” said the Gryphon

“well I never heard it before” said the mock turtle “but it sounds uncommon nonsense”

Alice said nothing she had sat down with her face in her hands wondering if anything would ever happen in a natural way again

“I should like to have it explained” said the mock turtle

“she can’t explain it” said the Gryphon hastilygo on with the next verse”

“but about his toes” the mock turtle persistedhow could he turn them out with his nose you know”

“it’s the first position in dancing” Alice said but was dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing and the longed to change the subject

“go on with the next verse” the Gryphon repeated impatiently “it begins.. I passed by his garden”

Alice did not dare to disobey though she felt sure it would all come wrong and she went on in a trembling voice

I passed by his garden and marked with one eye

how the owl and the Panther were sharing a pie

the Panther took pie crust and gravy and meat

while the owl had the dish as its share of the treat

when the pie was all finished the owl as a boon

was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon

while the Panther received knife and fork with a growl

and concluded the banquet..

“what is the use of repeating all that stuff?” the mock turtle interrupted “if you don’t explain it as you go on it’s by far the most confusing thing I ever heard”

“yes I think you’d better leave off” said the Gryphon, and Alice was only too glad to do so

“shall we try another figure of the lobster quadrille?” the Gryphon went on “or would you like the mock turtle to sing you a song?”

“Oh a song please if the mock turtle would be so kind” Alice replied so eagerly that the Gryphon said in a rather offended tone “hmm no accounting for tastes, sing her turtle soup will you old fellow!”

the mock turtle sighed deeply and began in a voice sometimes choked with sobs to sing this

beautiful soup so rich and green

waiting in a hot tureen

who for such dainties would not stoop

soup of the evening beautiful soup

soup of the evening beautiful soup

beautiful soup beautiful

soup soup of the evening beautiful beautiful soup

beautiful soup who cares for fish

game or any other dish

who would not give all else

for two pennyworth only of beautiful soup

pennyworth only of beautiful soup

beautiful soup beautiful soup

soup of the evening beautiful beautiful soup

“chorus again” cried the Gryphon and the mock turtle had just begun to repeat it when a cry of “the trials beginning” was heard in the distance

“come on” cried the Gryphon and taking Alice by the hand, it hurried off without waiting for the end of the song

“what trial is it?” Alice panted as she ran, but the Gryphon only answered “come on and ran the faster” while more and more faintly came carried on the breeze that followed them The Melancholy words

soup of the evening beautiful beautiful soup

chapter 11

who stole the tarts

the King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when they arrived with

a great crowd assembled about them.

All sorts of little birds and beasts as well as the whole pack of cards the knave was

standing before them in Chains with a soldier on each side to guard him and near

the king was the White Rabbit with a trumpet in one hand and a scroll of parchment

in the other, in the very middle of the court was a table with a large dish of tarts

upon it, they looked so good that it made Alice quite hungry to look at them

“I wish to get  the trial done” she thought and hand round the refreshments but there

seemed to be no chance of this so she began looking at everything about her to pass

away the time.

Alice had never been in a court of justice before but she had read about them in books

and she was quite pleased to find that she knew the name of nearly everything there.

“That’s the judge” she said to herself because of his great wig, the judge, by the way,

was the king and as he wore his crown over the wig look at the frontispiece

if you want to see how he did it he did not look at all comfortable and it was certainly

not becoming,

“And that’s the jury-box” thought Alice “and those twelve creatures..”, she was obliged

to say creatures you see because some of them were animals and some were Birds,

“I suppose they are the jurors” she said this last word two or three times over

to herself being rather proud of it for she thought and rightly to that very few little

girls of her age knew the meaning of it at all, however jurymen would have done just

as well.

“The 12 jurors were all writing very busily on slates, “what are they doing?!”

Alice whispered to the Gryphon “they can’t have anything to put down yet before

the trials begun”,

“They are putting down their names” the Gryphon whispered in reply “for fear they should forget them before the end of the trial”,

“stupid things” Alice began in a loud indignant voice but she stopped hastily for

the White Rabbit cried out “silence in the court” and the King put on his spectacles

and looked anxiously round to make out who was talking, Alice could see, as well

as if she were looking over their shoulders, that all the jurors were writing down

stupid things on their slates and she could even make out that one of them didn’t

know how to spell stupid and that he had to ask his neighbour to tell him,a nice

muddle their slates will be in before the trials over” thought Alice, one of the jurors

had a pencil that squeaked, this of course Alice could not stand and she went round

the core and got behind him and very soon found an opportunity of taking it away,

she did it so quickly that the poor little jurorit was Bill the lizard- could not make out

at all what had become of it, so after hunting all about for it he was obliged to write

with one finger for the rest of the day, and this was a very little use as it left no mark

on the slate.

“Herald, read the accusation” said the King, on this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet and then unrolled the parchment scroll and read as follows

“the Queen of Hearts she made some tarts all on a summer day

the knave of Hearts he stole those tarts and took them quite away”

“consider your verdict” the king said to the jury

“not yet … not yet” the rabbit hastily interruptedthere’s a great deal to come before that”

“call the first witness” said the king,

and the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet and called out “first witness”,

The first witness was the Hatter, he came in with a teacup in one hand and a piece

of bread-and-butter in the other, “I beg pardon your majesty” he began “for bringing

these in but I hadn’t quite finished my tea when I was sent for”,

“you ought to have finished” said the kingwhen did you begin?”

the Hatter looked at the March Hare who had followed him into the court arm-in-arm

with the Dormouse,fourteenth of March I think it was” he said,

“15th” said the March Hare,

“sixteenth” added the dormouse,

“write that down” the king said to the jury and the jury eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates and then added them up and reduced the answer to shillings and pence,

“take off your hat” the king said to the Hatter,

“it isn’t mine” said the Hatter

“stolen!!?” the King exclaimed turning to the jury who instantly made a Memorandum of the fact,

“I keep them to sell” the Hatter added as an explanation “I’ve none of my own I’m a Hatter”,

here the Queen put on her spectacles and began staring at the Hatter who turned pale and fidgeted,

“give your evidence” said the king “and don’t be nervous or I’ll have you executed on the spot”,

this did not seem to encourage the witness at all he kept shifting from one foot

to the other looking uneasily at the Queen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece

out of his teacup instead of the bread-and-butter.

Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation which puzzled her a good deal

until she made out what it was, she was beginning to grow larger again

and she thought at first she would get up and leave the court

but on second thoughts she decided to remain where she was as long as there was

room for her,

“I wish you wouldn’t squeeze so” said the Dormouse who was sitting next to her “I can hardly breathe”,

“I can’t help it” said Alice very meekly “I’m growing”,

“you’ve no right to grow here” said the Dormouse,

“don’t talk nonsense” said Alice more boldly “you know you’re growing too”,

“yes but I grow at a reasonable pace” said the Dormouse “not in that ridiculous fashion”, and he got up very sulkily and crossed over to the other side of the court.

all this time the Queen had never left off staring at the Hatter and just as

the Dormouse crossed the court she said to one of the officers of the court

“bring me the list of the singers in the last concert”, on which the wretched Hatter

trembled so that he shook both his shoes off,

“give your evidence” the King repeated angrily “or I’ll have you executed whether you’re nervous or not”,

“I’m a poor man your majesty” the hatter began in a trembling voice “and I hadn’t begun my tea not above a week or so, and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin, and the twinkling of the tea—“,

“the twinkling of the what?!” said the king,

“it began with the tea” the Hatter replied,

“of course twinkling begins with a T” said the King sharply “do you take me for a dunce, go on”

“I’m a poor man” the Hatter went on “and most things twinkled after that”,

only the March Hare said “I didn’t”, the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry,

“you did” said the Hatter,

“I deny it” said the March Hare,

“he denies it” said the king “leave out that part”,

“well at any rate, the Dormouse said” the Hatter went on looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it – but the Dormouse denied nothing being fast asleep, “after that” continued the Hatter “I cut some more bread-and-butter”,

“but what did the Dormouse say?” one of the jury asked,

“that I can’t remember” said the Hatter,

“you must remember” remarked the king “or I’ll have you executed”,

the miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter and went down on one knee “I’m a poor man your majesty” he began,

“you’re a very poor speaker” said the king,

here one of the guinea-pigs cheered and was immediately suppressed by the officers

of the court as that is rather a hard word I will just explain to you how it was done

they had a large canvas bag which tied up at the mouth with strings into this they

slipped the guinea-pig head first and then sat upon it,

“I’m glad I’ve seen that done” thought Alice “I’ve so often read in the newspapers at the end of trials there was some attempts at applause which was immediately suppressed by the officers of the court and I never understood what it meant till now”‘

“if that’s all you know about it, you may stand down” continued the king,

“I can’t go No lower” said the Hatter “I’m on the floor as it is”,

“then you may sit down” the king replied,

here the other guinea-pig cheered and was suppressed, “come, that finished the guinea-pigs” thought Alice “now we shall get on better”,

“I’d rather finish my tea” said the Hatter with an anxious look at the queen who was reading the list of singers,

“you may go” said the king and the Hatter hurriedly left the court without even waiting to put his shoes on,

“and just take his head off outside” the Queen added to one of the officers,

but the Hatter was out of sight before the officer could get to the door .

“call the next witness” said the king,

the next witness was the Duchess’s cook, she carried the pepperbox in her hand

and Alice guessed who it was even before she got into the court, by the way

the people near the door began sneezing all at once,

“give your evidence said the king,

“shan’t” said the cook,

the King looked anxiously at the white rabbit who said in a low voice “Your Majesty must cross-examine this witness”,

“well if I must…I must” the King said with a melancholy air and after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till his eyes were nearly out of sight he said in a deep voice “what are Tarts made of?”,

“pepper mostly” said the cook,

“treacle” said a sleepy voice behind her,

“collar that dormouse” the Queen shrieked out, behead that dormouse, turned that dormouse out of court, suppress him, pinch him off with his whiskers”,

for some minutes the whole court was in confusion getting the Dormouse turned out, and by the time they had settled down again the cook had disappeared,

“never mind” said the king with an air of great relief “call the next witness” and he added in an undertone to the Queen “really my dear you must cross-examine the next witness, it quite makes my forehead ache”,

Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list feeling very curious to see what the next witness would be,

for they haven’t got much evidence yet” she said to herself, imagine her surprise when the White Rabbit read out at the top of his shrill little voice the name “Alice!”

chapter 12

Alice’s evidence

“here” cried Alice quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how large she had grown

in the last few minutes and she jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over

the jury-box with the edge of her skirt upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads

of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about reminding her very much

of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset the week before, “oh I beg your

pardon” she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay and began picking them up again

as quickly as she could for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head

and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once and put back

into the jury-box or they would die,

“the trial cannot proceed” said the king in a very grave voice “until all the jurymen are back in their proper places, all!” he repeated with great emphasis looking hard at Alice as he said so,

Alice looked at the jury box and saw that in her haste she had put the Lizard in head

downwards and the poor little thing was waving its tail about in a melancholy way

being quite unable to move, she soon got it out again and put it right, “

not that it signifies much” she said to herself “I should think it would be quite as much

use in the trial one way up as the other”.

As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of being upset and their

slates and pencils had been found and handed back to them they set to work very

diligently to write out a history of the accident all except the lizard who seemed too

much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open, gazing up into the roof

of the court,

“what do you know about this business?” the King said to Alice,

“nothing,” said Alice,

“nothing whatever!?” persisted the King,

“nothing whatever,” said Alice,

“that’s very important,” the king said turning to the jury,

they were just beginning to write this down on their slates when the White Rabbit

interrupted “unimportant Your Majesty means of course” he said in a very respectful tone but frowning and making faces at him as he spoke,

“unimportant of course I meant” the king hastily said and went on to himself in an undertone “important…unimportant…unimportant…important” as if he were trying which word sound at best,

some of the juries wrote it down important and some unimportant Alice could see this as she was near enough to look over their slates,

“but it doesn’t matter a bit” she thought to herself,

at this moment the king who had been for some time busily writing in his notebook

cackled doubtsilence!” and read out from his book “rule forty-two, all persons more

than a mile high to leave the court”,

everybody looked at Alice “I’m not a mile high” said Alice,

“you are” said the King,

“nearly two miles high” added the Queen,

“well I shan’t go at any rate” said Alice “besides that’s not a regular rule, you invented it just now”,

“it’s the oldest rule in the book”, said the King,

“then it ought to be number one” said Alice,

the King turned pale and shut his notebook hastily “consider your verdict” he said to the jury in a low trembling voice,

“there’s more evidence to come yet, please your majesty” said the White Rabbit jumping up in a great hurry this paper has just been picked up”,

“what’s in it?” said the Queen,

“I haven’t opened it yet” said the White Rabbit “but it seems to be a letter written by the prisoner to…to somebody”,

“it must have been that” said the king “unless it was written to nobody, which isn’t usual you know”,

“who is it directed to?” said one of the jurymen,

“it isn’t directed at all” said the White Rabbit “in fact there’s nothing written on the outside” he unfolded the paper as he spoke and addedit isn’t a letter after all, it’s a set of verses”,

“are they in the prisoners handwriting?” asked another of the jurymen,

“no they’re not” said the White Rabbit andthat’s the queerest thing about it”,

the jury all looked puzzled,

“he must have imitated somebody else’s hand” said the king,

the jury all brightened up again,

“please your majesty” said the knave “I didn’t write it, and they can’t prove I did, there’s no name sign at the end”,

“if you didn’t sign it” said the King “that only makes the matter worse, you must have meant some mischief or else you would have signed your name like an honest man”,

there was a general clapping of hands at this, it was the first really clever thing the King had said that day,

“that proves his guilt” said the Queen,

“it proves nothing of the sort” said Alicewhy you don’t even know what they’re about?!!”,

“read them” said the King,

the White Rabbit put on his spectacles “where shall I begin please Your Majesty?” he asked,

“begin at the beginning” the king said gravely “and go on till you come to the end then stop”,

these were the verses the White Rabbit read

they told me you had been to her and mentioned me to him

she gave me a good character but said I could not swim

he sent them word I had not gone we know it to be true if

she should push the matter on what would become a few

I gave her one they gave him two you gave us three or more

they all returned from him to you though they were mine before

if I or she should chance to be involved in this affair

he trusts to you to set them free exactly as we were

my notion was that you had been before she had this fit

an obstacle that came between him and ourselves and it

don’t let him know she likes them best for this must ever be

a secret kept from all the rest between yourself and me

“that’s the most important piece of evidence we’ve heard yet,” said the King rubbing his hands, so now let the jury”,

“if any one of them can explain it,” said Alice she had grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn’t a bit afraid of interrupting him “I’ll give him sixpence, I don’t believe there is an atom of meaning in it”,

the jury all wrote down on their slates “she doesn’t believe there’s an atom of meaning in it” but none of them attempted to explain the paper,

“if there’s no meaning in it,” said the king “that saves a world of trouble you know as we needn’t try to find any, and yet I don’t know…!!” he went on spreading out the verses on his knee and looking at them with one eye “I seem to see some meaning in them after all, said I could not swim, you can’t swim, can you?” he added turning to the knave,

the knave shook his head sadly “do I look like it” he said, which he certainly did not being made entirely of cardboard,

“all right so far,” said the King and he went on muttering over the verses to himself,

“We know it to be true” that’s the jury of course –I gave her one they gave him two- why that must be what he did with the tarts you know”,

“but it goes on they all returned from him to you” said Alice,

“why there they are,” said the king triumphantly pointing to the tarts on the table “nothing can be clearer than that, then again-before she had this fit-you never had fits my dear I think,” he said to the Queen,

“never” said the Queen furiously throwing an inkstand at the Lizard as she spoke,

the unfortunate little bill had left off writing on his slate with one finger as he found it made no mark, but now he hastily began again using the ink that was trickling down his face as long as it lasted,

“then the words don’t fit you” said the king looking round to the court with a smile, there was a dead silence “it’s a pun!” the king added in an offended tone and everybody laughed, “let the jury consider their verdict,” the king said for about the twentieth time that day,

“no…no!” said the Queen “sentence first, verdict afterward”,

“stuff and nonsense,” said Alice loudly “the idea of having the sentence first”,

“hold your tongue” said the Queen turning purple,

“I won’t,” said Alice,

“off with her head” the Queen shouted at the top of her voice, nobody moved

“who cares for you” said Alice she had grown to her full size by this time “you’re nothing but a pack of cards”,

at this, the whole pack rose up into the air and came flying down upon her she gave

a little scream half a fright and half of anger and tried to beat them off and found

herself lying on the bank with her head in the lap of her sister who was gently

brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the trees upon

her face,

“wake up Alice dear” said her sister “why what a long sleep you’ve had”,

“oh I’ve had such a curious dream” said Alice and she told her sister as well

as she could remember them all these strange Adventures of hers that you have just

been reading about and when she had finished her sister kissed her and said

“it was a curious dream dear certainly but now run into your tea it’s getting late”,

so Alice got up and ran off thinking while she ran as well she might what a wonderful

dream it had been but her sister sat still just as she left her leaning her head on her

hand watching the Setting Sun and thinking of little Alice and all her wonderful

adventures till she too began dreaming after a fashion and this was her dream,

first, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the tiny hands were clasped

upon her knee and the bright eager eyes were looking up into hers she could hear

the very tones of her voice and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back

the wandering hair that would always get into her eyes, and still as she listened

or seemed to listen the whole place around her became alive with the strange

creatures of her little sister’s dream, the long grass rustled at her feet as the white

rabbit hurried by, the frightened mouse splashed his way through the neighbouring

pool, she could hear the rattle of the teacups as the march hare and his friends

shared their never-ending meal, and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her

unfortunate guests to execution, once more the pig baby was sneezing

on the duchess’s knee while plates and dishes crashed around it, once more

the shriek of the gryphon the squeaking of the lizard’s slate-pencil and the choking

of the suppressed guinea-pigs filled the air mixed up with the distant sobs

of the miserable mock turtle, so she sat on with closed eyes and half believed

herself in Wonderland though she knew she had but to open them again and all

would change to dull reality, the grass would be only rustling in the wind and the pool

rippling to the waving of the reeds, the rattling teacups would change to tinkling

sheep bells and the Queen’s shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd boy,

and the sneeze of the baby the shriek of the gryphon and all the other queer noises

would change she knew to the confused clamour of the busy farmyard,

while the lowing of the cattle in the distance would take the place of the mock Turtles

heavy sobs. lastly she pictured to herself how this same little sister of hers would

in the aftertime be herself a grown woman and how she would keep through all her

riper years the simple and loving heart of her childhood and how she would gather

about her other little children and make their eyes bright and eager with many

a strange tale perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of long ago and how

she would feel with all their simple sorrows and find a pleasure in all their simple joys

remembering her own child life and the happy summer days.

The End